The Mighty Skunk

This Blog Has Moved.........

2011-09-05T22:53:00.003-04:00

Effective September 5, 2011, this blog has moved here: http://themightyskunk.wordpress.com

Please update your RSS feed accordingly.

The new site has much better support for mobile devices.

Hangin' Wit Da Cousins

2011-09-05T10:09:00.005-04:00

In Penticton, BC

Jessica (& friend)

Matthew (& friends)

Rumbling on the couch

Mountain biking with Mom & Dad on "Rusty Muffler"

Bulls-Eye

2011-08-25T13:25:00.002-04:00

US Open site: "X" Marks The Spot.

Bad Karma. The US Open hazz it.

TSA HAPPINESS!

2011-08-22T12:20:00.004-04:00

This morning I got THE email from American Airlines:

Due to your status in the AAdvantage^® program, you may be eligible to participate in a screening pilot program being tested by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) this fall. The goal of this pilot program is to evaluate expedited screening processes for selected American Airlines travelers through designated security checkpoints at the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport (DFW) and the Miami International Airport (MIA).

I registered using my Global Entry #, and received this:

We have received your opt-in submission for participation in the Transportation Security Administration's screening pilot program and no further action is needed on your part. During the reservation process, you will not need to input a Known Traveler number as your opt-in allows American Airlines to identify you as a participant in the program when submitting your passenger reservation information to the TSA's Secure Flight system.

When the pilot program begins this fall, you may experience the expedited security screening at the following airport checkpoints:

-- Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport (DFW) at C-30
-- Miami International Airport (MIA) next to the American Airlines First Class check-in counter

Unfortunately, to me Dallas and Miami are in flyover states, I rarely check in there, but progress is apparently, well, in progress.

One Of The Most Beautiful Sights You Will Ever See.....

2011-08-18T19:30:00.006-04:00

...is the sight of your electrical meter running BACKWARDS.

Especially if you live in a place where electricity costs 40 cents per KwH (in most places on the mainland, it costs around 7 cents).

Now that I've got my solar array installed, I sell electricity back to MECO all day long. At night, the meter runs forward. Hopefully at the end of each month it's a wash.

Before

The Local Boyz Arrive

Bolting The Mounting Rails To The Roof

Not much to these panels. They only weigh 50 lbs or so.

Each panel has its own inverter.

Almost finished

Kaoni wires the array into my meter.

Done. And plenty of room on the upper roof for another array if I need one.

Great News From.......TSA?

2011-08-18T11:22:00.003-04:00

OMG. I never thought I'd commit this phrase to electrons, but my email inbox contained great news today from the Transportation Security Administration and Customs & Border Protection.

I'm not making this up.

As you know from some of my previous posts, a few years back I applied to CBP for NEXUS and GLOBAL ENTRY status. I went through the interviewing process, submitted my biometric information, and passed. And let me tell you, dear readers, it has been the greatest thing since sliced bread. I average about 15-20 border crossings per year, and I breeze through US and Canadian Customs via a biometric kiosk in 15 seconds, no matter which port of entry I am using and regardless of how long the line is. At the end of a long trip or the start of a long day traveling, it is simply wonderful. Canada has become my favorite destination, because I can use the kiosk going both ways.

Nothing makes my day more than flying home from Calgary (YYC), where the early-morning Customs line is never less than 45 minutes. I breeze through in 15 seconds. Like clockwork.

Now, it looks like TSA and CBP are cooperating (image that - cooperation within the US government) to expand this program to TSA screening. Pretty soon, a biometric kiosk will replace the strip-search-and-radiate-in-bare-feet process at select US airports.

I have 3,000,000 lifetime miles on AA and always have access to the "priority" TSA lines at domestic airports. Nevertheless, the process still sucks. Priority lines mean it just sucks a little less for me than for most people. I stand there and roll my eyes at all the clueless Ma & Pa Kettles, who fly twice a year, as they futz around with their their baby strollers, their backpacks, their bottles of water, their car keys, their jewelry, their snotty little kids' Gameboys. FUCKING DUH! Can't you read? This occurs just after a barely literate cretin, who most likely was recently was fired from a job flipping burgers, scrutinizes my Nexus card or passport with a flashlight to determine whether I even qualify to be searched.

Can you just IMAGINE how otherworldly awesome it is going to be when I can walk past all the queueing Kettles and the Barney Fifes, slap my hand down on a fingerprint scanner or shove my face into a retinal scanner, and be on my way in 15 seconds?

Oh. My. Gawd.

But I can temper my excitement by contemplating the prospect of still having to go through Heathrow a few times per year.

We are pleased to announce that U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) is partnering with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) on a new Department of Homeland Security initiative announced July 14, 2011, that qualifies some passengers for expedited screening through U.S. airport security checkpoints.

This pilot program will be available to U.S. citizens who are members of CBP’s Global Entry, NEXUS, and SENTRI Trusted Traveler programs. The pilot program will provide expedited screening through TSA checkpoints via dedicated screening lanes.

The United States government. Love those guys.

Love 'em.

The Inspiring Story of the Boffins at MIT Media Labs

2011-08-12T02:47:00.005-04:00

This interview with Hugh Herr blew my mind. The guy is an intergalactic boffin, a real-life Tony Stark.

http://www.npr.org/2011/08/10/137552538/the-double-amputee-who-designs-better-limbs

I listened to the interview three times, just to make sure I got every word. Afterward, I ordered a copy of this:

The Sorcerers and Their Apprentices: How the Digital Magicians of the MIT Media Lab Are Creating the Innovative Technologies That Will Transform Our Lives

by Frank Moss

I Love Paul Krugman

2011-08-09T13:23:00.002-04:00

If you're at all interested in the current economic mess and don't already read Paul Krugman's column & blog in the New York Times, I highly recommend it.

Even if you don't agree with the Nobel Prize-winning Princeton economics professor, he is a wonderfully entertaining writer and pops out gems like this one on a daily basis:

http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/09/the-pawlenty-mystery/

"I mean, as far as I can tell he’s Sarah Palin in a suit."

Priceless. Krugman alone is worth the price of my online subscription to The New York Times.

Interestingly, I've seen Krugman on TV several times, and his public persona is nothing like his literary one. On TV he is extremely shy, very soft-spoken, doesn't look people in the eye, and is almost painful to watch. He is somewhat of a Caspar Milquetoast. But on the printed page.....I just love the guy. What a brain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caspar_Milquetoast

Krugman is the inverse of, say, Jim Cramer, who is enormously entertaining to watch, but whose ideas have repeatedly proved demonstrably false and intellectually bankrupt from every perspective, over and over, for a solid decade.

Krugman personifies a (rare) triumph of substance and raw intellect over style in today's bizarro-world media hairball.

ENSO Alert System Status: La Niña Watch!

2011-08-06T13:29:00.003-04:00

La Niña Watch!!!!

http://www.cpc.ncep.noaa.gov/products/analysis_monitoring/enso_advisory/ensodisc.html

Last winter was La Niña and, very possibly, the best North American ski season in 50 years. If not the best, then definitely top 3. PowMow got 500 inches, and us AT guys were still touring PowMow in June, over a month after the resort closed. Snowbird, which averages about 500 inches, claimed 783 inches (although we all know the Snowbird Marketing department lies like a Fox News commentator). Lifts at The Bird were still running limited service on July 4th. In the Sierras and in Colorado, the backcountry guys are STILL hiking and skiing corn, and it's August....of the hottest summer in 50 years.

NOAA has just issued a La Niña watch for 2011-2012. YEE HAAA! I've got these sitting in my garage, just waiting:

SARTALICS

2011-08-05T22:08:00.001-04:00

At last, a universal sarcasm font.

http://sartalics.com/

Contador Goes Down Swinging

2011-07-26T17:47:00.002-04:00

I've never been much of an Alberto Contador fan. It's not that I "like" or "dislike" Contador; it's simply that I have a hard time relating to a fully-grown man who weighs about 125 lbs. I can't imagine what racing a bike feels like to a guy who'd get slaughtered in an arm-wrestling match by a jockey. A FEMALE jockey. I relate much better to racers like Thor Hushovd, who is 6' tall, weighs 185 lbs, and STILL wins mountain stages of the Tour de France, which is absolutely phenomenal. For those of you who have never raced bicycles, a guy Hushovd's size winning a mountain stage of Le Tour is the cycling equivalent, in inverse, of a 12-year-old girl playing power forward in an NBA game and dominating. It's impossible in theory, but he did it. Twice in the 2011 Tour, alone.

Last year Contador won Le Tour 2010 but subsequently flunked a blood test. His blood sample was found to have traces of Clenbuterol, not itself a performance-enhancing drug, but rather a masking agent. Contador claimed he injested the drug from tainted beef brought to the team dinner from Spain. This is cycling's version of the "dog ate my homework" defense. His defense was accepted by the Spanish Federation, but that verdict is currently under appeal by the UCI and WADA. Contador may still lose his 2010 Tour title on appeal.

I really don't know what to make of cycling's drug cases. On one hand, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...you know the rest. On the other hand, there is so much corruption and incompetence in the governing bodies of most of the sports I'm involved with (cycling is worse than most), to me neither side has much credibility. As a result, I simply assume those who have not been convicted by due process are clean, and those who have, are dirty. Period. So Contador, to me, is not guilty until proven otherwise.

Notice I did not write innocent until proven otherwise.

Anyway, last week Contador was climbing some ungodly mountain in Le Tour (I think it was Col du Telegraphe or Alpe D'Huez, I forget the exact spot), in the midst of a massively gutsy uphill solo attack, and a maniac wearing surgical garb and carrying a fake transfusion bag ran up beside him and gestured like he was giving Contador a transfusion. Contador soloed on. But then the guy reached out and grabbed Contador's arm, and Contador clocked him right in the face.

I've never tried to punch anybody while riding a bike up a steep mountain road, but I've tried to do other things from that position (put on a jacket, take off a jacket, throw a water bottle at a menacing dog) and - trust me on this - doing almost anything other than controlling the bike is extremely difficult. Contador didn't flatten the guy, but I think he got his message across. And he didn't crash. Didn't miss a beat.

I could get to like this fellow Contador.

NEW PLANKS!

2011-07-21T17:07:00.005-04:00

My latest attempt at purrrrrfection: Dynafit Stoke, 191 cm, 134/108/122, 24.8m radius.

I currently own about a half-dozen pairs of skis, but my 188 Coombas (right) are by far the best skis I've ever been on. Nevertheless, I carry on a never-ending personal vision quest for something better. Not because the Coombas aren't insanely great, but (A) because I can, and (B) The fun is in the discovery.

I mean.....even the guys who married Cindy Crawford and Elle Macpherson eventually got divorced.

Early-rise tip. Not as radical as "rocker" tip, but the efficacy of rockers whilst climbing on skins is controversial. The Coombas have conventional tips, although the more recent "CoombaCK" model has full rocker.

It's The Stoke, eh?

Designed in cooperation with Greg Hill, a backcountry legend from Revelstoke, British Columbia.

Trust me. If you're a real skier and you haven't skied Revelstoke......go there. Soon. And whilst you're there, ski Rogers Pass too....if you dare.

Specs written on the tail of the right ski.

Hergestellt am Österreich

Austria. Where skiers are REAL skiers, and sheep are afraid.

A Canadian flag maple leaf on the tips, in tribute to Greg Hill and Revelstoke.

Pre-drilled, reinforced inserts for Dynafit bindings.

Dynafit has redesigned their touring heels for 2012, and the 2012 touring bindungen are not available yet, so I'll just have to wait a few months to get my hands on a pair of FT's.

Mounting instructions for Dynafit bindungen. No drill needed. Just a screwdriver.

Really, REALLY Cool Engineering Project

2011-07-18T21:04:00.004-04:00

A 200-mph, remote-control model car.

http://wheels.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/18/remotely-hobbyist-takes-control-of-a-tiny-200-m-p-h-super-car/#

I wonder how the speed is captured? You'd have to put your photocells directly on the tarmac. At 100 m/s, the vertical tail fin isn't large enough to trigger a circuit closure in an average photocell, even with the potentiometer settings maxed out. At half a meter long, even the entire fuselage would still be a mighty small object to capture with a photocell at that kind of speed.

"Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."

2011-07-18T12:48:00.002-04:00

Show them how truly pissed off you are, in iambic pentameter.

Shakespeare's most vitriolic insults:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/17/shakespeare-insults_n_900193.html#s309660&title=You_should_be

No wonder the Poms were so appalled by John McEnroe. They hadn't heard anything like his infamous "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, MAN" rant since 1616.

PLANKED!

2011-07-11T22:29:00.003-04:00

For those of you who may be wondering what my ingenious nephew is up to these days, he's finishing up his PhD in computer science and is well into his 2nd summer fellowship at Microsoft Research.

Beats the hell out of skateboarding around the US Open site, dissing umpires.

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Weird

2011-07-11T16:21:00.003-04:00

Prior to the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, I had a difficult time explaining to my friends on Austria Ski Team how in the great State of Utah ("the beehive State"), one can walk into a store at 3AM and walk out with a fully automatic submachine gun and a case of ammo, but it is impossible to walk into a convenience store or supermarche and buy a bottle of beer.

Well, sports fans, in Utah the situation has just gotten weirder.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2081565,00.html

The Most Expensive Golf Shirt In The World?

2011-07-04T15:45:00.003-04:00

Joe Saward, my favorite F1 journo, posted this mind-blowing photo on his blog today.

http://joesaward.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/img_0837.jpg

Currently the Louvre is hosting an exhibition entitled “L’Art de l’Automobile", featuring Ralph Lauren's personal car collection. Joe stopped by to see it.

He (as I too would have done) just about fell over when he saw the price tag on this ordinary cotton golf shirt with some ostentatious embroidery.

For €125, it better come with a blowjob from a gorgeous French girl.

Darwin Strikes Again - Motorcyclist Dies of a Head Injury While Protesting Helmet Law

2011-07-03T12:27:00.002-04:00

D'Oh!

link here

"DuckDuckGo: Google Tracks You. We Don't."

2011-06-21T12:34:00.003-04:00

Upstart search engine DuckDuckGo is an interesting alternative for those concerned or obsessed with privacy. They do not track, there is no membership database, and indeed there is no way to sign in even if you wanted to.

http://searchengineland.com/upstart-duckduckgo-challenges-google-with-strong-privacy-cool-tools-quackpot-name-62540

I've been using it, and I have found it to be as good as Google but with significantly less annoyances.

Try it here:

http://duckduckgo.com/

"Jackass" Killed Two Blocks From Chester County Hospital

2011-06-20T12:18:00.002-04:00

When I was a kid, my father was Chief of Orthopedics at Chester County Hospital in West Chester, PA.

This morning, this news item caught my eye:

link here

"Jackass" was killed in a car crash about two blocks from Dear Old Dad's former place of employment.

Darwin can be a bitch.

Join the TSA - Get A Free Working Holiday In Honolulu

2011-06-19T11:56:00.001-04:00

More black eyes for the TSA.

link

NOTE: It's good to know TSA employees can be fired for SOMETHING.

The Perfect Diddle Stick?

2011-06-18T13:38:00.002-04:00

Those who know me, know that my life is one big quest for the perfect....whatever.

The perfect wave (sometimes get 'em every day for a week straight here in the Hawai'ian Islands)

The perfect powder day (got about 15 of them last ski season between ski trips to Austria, Utah, British Columbia)

The perfect one-ski quiver (so far 188cm K2 Coomba, but the fun part is looking for something better)

The perfect racing bicycle (58.5 Serotta Legend Titanium)

The perfect airline (ha ha, just kidding)

Last week at Spruce Meadows' The National I asked NathanD, one of SM's audio guys, if I could borrow a small electronics screwdriver (aka "Diddle Stick"). He handed me a contraption of a type I'd never seen. After examining it and using it for a day, I'm thinking I may have found The Perfect Diddle Stick. Fortunately, they were available at the Home Depot across Route 22X from Spruce, so I bought a few to investigate Perfect Diddledom a bit further.

The device in question is called a "12 in 1 Mini Dial A Bit" ("12 en 1" in the Canadian government-mandated French on the label), by Fuller.

The heel stores 5 double-ended bits: various Torx (T6, T7, T8, T10, T15), various flat-blades (#1.5, #2.5), various mini-Philips (#0, #00, #000) and even two small Robertson bits (#0, #1). Another double-ended bit resides in the tip, yielding a total selection of 12. The bits are selected using a small thumb-wheel in the heel, which also keeps the unused bits from falling out of the handle.

The hilt is extendable. In short configuration, the diddle is 13cm (5 1/2"). Extended, it is 20 cm (8").

Shirt-pocket clip.

I think this Diddle Stick may become my go-to device for diddling.

Spruce Meadows' Unique "Dual Slalom"

2011-06-12T15:25:00.004-04:00

Two of Everything!

Two Finish Lines

Two Start Chutes

Two Rolex Clocks

A Horse Named "Bob's Your Uncle". For those of us who love Australia, this may be the best horse name, ever.

Close! Winner Gets a Checkmark. Margin of Victory: 0.124 second

Note To Fort Pierce Police: We Definitely Know They're NOT French

2011-06-09T15:50:00.001-04:00

LINK

Coolest Mini-Keyboard EVER

2011-06-05T17:15:00.004-04:00

I'm always looking for cool mini-keyboards to use in TV Production Trucks, where one is usually allotted about 20 square inches of desk space. Well, I may have found the ULTIMATE.

Integrated touchpad, rechargeable via USB, wired or wireless, back-lit, fits in a shirt pocket. Wouldn't want to write 20,000 lines of code with it, but for setting IP addresses and clicking a few buttons, can't beat it.

eBay.

$30.

I'm From The Government And I'm Here To Help You....

2011-05-30T12:09:00.002-04:00

http://www.mauinews.com/page/content.detail/id/549901.html

This is a great thing, something I figr'd would never happen. It is obvious that Maui is the most perfect microcosmic test environment in the US for biofuels, but I doubted anyone would ever take advantage of that fact.

1. There are tens of thousands of acres of sugar being grown here on an ongoing basis, 100% of which is grown at a financial loss. MC&S grows sugar at a loss in order to retain its water rights so that they can develop their massive land holdings "someday", but of course now is not the time, since the housing market is so bad.

2. Two of the biggest problems with biofuels do not exist here: (1) There is no such thing as cold weather (2) On an island with a circumference of 160 miles, there is no such thing as delays getting refined biofuels from factory to consumer. One tanker truck could conceivably deliver to every gas station on the island in one 24-hr day.

3. There is already a wildly successful biofuels program in place here, a private venture owned by singer Willie Nelson and local businessmen Bob & Kelly King. About 10 years ago, they built a plant to refine cooking grease into biodiesel. Today they operate at a profit, sell biodiesel for about $1 a gallon less than petroleum diesel, and they refine every single drop of cooking grease produced on the island. Not one drop goes into the (limited) landfills here.

Since the island imports all of its energy except for the 15%-20% of its electricity generated by the massive Kaheawa Wind Farm, Maui has some of the highest energy costs in the US. Yet Maui has almost unlimited wind, unlimited sun, great soil for growing things, and a huge and robust growing infrastructure. There is no reason why the island can't be completely energy-independent within 4 or 5 years.

Hot Shots from NASCAR Pit Crew Challenge

2011-05-20T00:57:00.004-04:00

Sprint Rent-A-Slut With a T-Shirt Cannon

Kevin Harvick's wife drove the car since she's quite a few pounds lighter than Kevin, so his crew put her name on the roof.

The Boys in their aloha shirt Skunkware uniforms.

Andrew doing graphics for SPEED.

Another rent-a-slut with a t-shirt cannon. A word to the wise...do not call a woman a "rent-a-slut" when she is holding a loaded weapon.

Trampass tries to keep the teams from cheating.

"BACK! BACK 6 INCHES! THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE START LINE" says Trampass to Jamie McMurray's crew chief

That's more like it, says Top Cop Trampass.

Another rent-a-slut, more t-shirts

Trampass tightening up the crew chief of the 27 Menard Chevrolet

Good News For All Of Us....

2011-05-13T12:52:00.002-04:00

Texans pointing out they suck. They know they suck. And especially....George W. Bush sucks.

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2011/05/10_worst_texas_gifts_world.php?page=2

Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and the rest of the Lunatic Windbag Chorus are falling on hard times as listeners tune them out.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-05-12/rush-limbaugh-and-right-wing-talk-radio-flame-out-as-listeners-tune-to-independents/

Thomas Dolby and Mark Knopfler

2011-05-09T19:06:00.002-04:00

I've been a huge Mark Knopfler fan since I heard the debut Dire Straits album in college. I've seen him, both solo and with Dire Straits, several times, and have tons of his music recorded in various forms.

The other day I was listening to the NPR podcast "Fresh Air" while out skateboarding, and Thomas Dolby was featured. I've never really liked Dolby's music, it's a bit gimmicky for me, but it was easier to keep listening than to stop and fast-forward the podcast, so I kept listening.

The Dolby interview turned out to be very interesting indeed. Dolby has totally changed his approach to music since his early, gimmicky, "Blinded Me With Science" sound. These days, he opines, anybody with a $1.99 iPod app has access to better synthesizers than he bought for half a million dollars way back when, so after not making any new CDs for 20 or 25 years he is coming out with a new work called "Oceania" which features something very few CDs today have - good songwriting craft, real musicianship, and very few tracks. As the podcast wound down, one of the Oceania songs was played, and it was outstanding. I made a note to check it out.

Oceania has not been released yet, but an EP has, and I got a copy. If the record is anything like the EP, I will definitely buy it.

I checked out Dolby's web site, and there is a terrific video of his visit to Mark Knopfler's personal studio in London to have Knopfler record a guitar track for the Oceania song "17 Hills". Dolby plays back about a dozen tracks Knopfler laid down, and then demonstrates how he weaved snippets of the various guitar licks into the track he actually used.

Fascinating stuff, and a real treat for Mark Knopfler fans like me. Check out "17 Hills Dissected, Part 2 of 3"

http://blog.thomasdolby.com/?p=1266

Panic vs Choking......and Tape Measures

2011-05-07T22:33:00.003-04:00

Panic and choking are not the same thing. In fact, they are diametric opposites. A person who is panicking simply goes blank. His brain stops processing, he can't think of even the most basic instructions or commands. A person who is choking suffers from a runaway brain, flooded with so many contradictory messages it starts to seize up like a thirsty man trying to drink from a fire hose.

Being a former professional athlete and a sports fan, there's nothing I respect more than somebody who neither chokes nor panics under pressure. There is nothing more difficult, nothing more difficult to train for, than the buzzer-beater.

In my lifetime, the king of this has, until this week, been Michael Jordan. The guy was just impervious to pressure. There is a huge difference between somebody like Carmelo Anthony, who has every shot in the book and (a few that aren't) and Michael Jordan, who has the same talent but can execute all of them, any of them, when an entire season, or an entire career, is on the line.

Probably THE classic choke was Jana Novotna vs Steffi Graf in the Wimbledon Final in 1993. Jana Novotna was KILLING Graf in the final set, and she simply fell to pieces. It was like watching a huge train wreck in slow motion. It was agonizing to watch.

Other than Jordan, the ten sportsmen who pop into my head (in no particular order) who have exhibited the greatest cool under fire in my lifetime are:

Alain Prost (aka The Professor). 4-time Formula One World Driving Champion.

Valentino Rossi (aka The Doctor). 7-time MotoGP (Formula One motorbike) Champion.

Rod Laver (aka The Rockhamption Rocket) 2 tennis "Grand Slams" despite being banned from Grand Slam tennis for 6 of his peak years.

Lindsey Vonn 3-time Alpine World Cup Overall Champion. Her Gold Medal DH run at the Vancouver Olympics on a rapidly slushifying course, which was running 2 seconds slower than when leader Julia Mancuso skied, might be the ballsiest thing I've ever seen on snow.

Roger Federer 16 Slam titles.

Pete Sampras 14 Slam titles.

Franz Klammer 4-time Hahnenkamm Downhill Champion. His Gold Medal DH run at Patscherkofel in the 1976 Olympics was the ballsiest thing I'd ever seen on snow until Vonn at Vancouver. Check it out on YouTube sometime. Astonishing.

Chauncey Billups (aka Mr Big Shot). Point guard, currently with The NY Knicks.

Tiger Woods Say what you want about his recent problems, the guy was, for almost 15 seasons, simply impervious to pressure.

Jimmie Johnson 5-time NASCAR season champion in a sport where any technical advantage is, by definition, eliminated by NASCAR.

There are a lot more who certainly are in this same league, such as Willis Reed and Juan Manuel Fangio, but they were before my time.

This morning, I read this article by Bob Woodward in The Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/death-of-osama-bin-laden-phone-call-pointed-us-to-compound--and-to-the-pacer/2011/05/06/AFnSVaCG_story.html

If the last few paragraphs of this article is true, then as of this week, in my opinion, there's a New Sheriff In Town. The coolest cat of all time. This guy is more impervious to pressure than Michael Jordan. This guy is Mr. Spock, with a suntan. His name? His name is Barack Obama, and he's President of the United States.

And I quote.....

"In the White House Situation Room on Sunday night, the president and his national security team watched a soundless video feed of the raid.

When bin Laden’s corpse was laid out, one of the Navy SEALs was asked to stretch out next to it to compare heights. The SEAL was 6 feet tall. The body was several inches taller.

After the information was relayed to Obama, he turned to his advisers and said: 'We donated a $60 million helicopter to this operation. Could we not afford to buy a tape measure?' "

Obama staked his entire presidency on this raid. The odds of success were, by all credible accounts, about 50/50. He knew, as a President who had never served in the military, that a failure would define his presidency and possibly lose him the next election. And at the height of all this, instead of losing his temper at a snag, he cracks wise?

This Obama fella may have a future if he keeps this up. The guy is cool.

Reliable As The Weather in Hawai'i

2011-05-02T21:36:00.002-04:00

People always think I'm kidding when I tell them it snows regularly in Hawaii. It does in fact snow regularly up at the summits of Mauna Loa and Mauna Kea (altitude 15,000 feet, give or take)....however not usually at my house (3,450 ft above sea level).

Today I was swimming at the Pukalani Pool (altitude 1,500 ft give or take), the air temp was about 80 degrees and the sky was partly cloudy. I was zoned out to the tunes on my SwimP3 player and had done about 2 km. As I went into a flip turn, I felt something bang against my legs. I stopped and there was a lifeguard standing over me. "Yo brah, we closin' da pool, dare's lightnin' & thundah".

This is a common ploy. There's a rule at the County pools - when the lifeguards hear thunder or see lightning, they are required to get everyone out of the pool and close the pool deck for 30 minutes. This is very convenient for, say, when they want to go out to the baseball field and smoke a quick joint, or hit Starbucks across the street. I looked up and was surprised to find there actually were some black clouds around, and even some thunder, which is extremely unusual. Hailing from Florida, where a day without lightning and thunder is unusual, lightning is so unusual in Hawaii that it usually makes the newspaper.

I packed up my crap and drove home.

Ten minutes after I got home, a wicked hailstorm started up. A hailstorm as vicious as any I saw in the 20-odd years I lived in Florida.

I even have the photos and the video to prove it.

This Is One Crazy-Ass Frog

2011-05-02T18:00:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtDeSOgX9ZA

I love skiing as much as the next maniac, but JEEBUS!

A Frog, of course.

Assume The Position....

2011-04-29T16:22:00.003-04:00

Regular gas is currently $5 / gallon (excuse me, $4.99 9/10ths) in Kahului right now.

In Hana, it's $6 / gallon.

New Toy....continued

2011-04-24T22:59:00.003-04:00

Extremely Large Network Engineer TBG commented on my previous post regarding my new toy by asking where he could get one. Since the full story requires photos, I decided to respond via a blog post.

Yeah, I think this board would hold up to even TBG, who runs (I'm guessing) about 6 foot 8 (203 cm) and pretty close to 300 pounds (136 kilos).

Developing this vehicle was somewhat of a process. It started life as an MBS Comp 95x, which can be had at a good skate shop or via mail-order for about $500. But the first time I rode it hard, the (aluminum) brake rotors transmitted so much heat to the (nylon) wheels through their (stainless steel) mounting bolts / spacers that the wheels melted almost completely through in about 10 minutes of riding. The meltdown was so bad, I had to grind the melted wheels with a Dremel Tool to free the rotors from the congealed nylon goo (see photo).

Nylon wheels, before (left) and after melting / rotor extraction via Dremel Tool.

I then bought a set of MBS "RockStar" aluminum wheels, which unfortunately take a different-sized tire than the stock nylon wheels, so I had to buy new tubes, new tires, and for good measure I also bought a 2nd brake kit. I figr'd the best way to get around brake heat problems was to spread the friction amongst 4 rotors instead of two.

It works great. I can put it on a 25-degree incline, lock the brakes, and stand on it without the board budging an inch. That most certainly was NOT the case with the stock board. I've ridden it down the entry road to Polipoli State Park about 5 times so far without any heat problems. Polipoli is a very poorly engineered road with extremely tight switchbacks, and I've had enough brake power to make all the switchbacks without tumbling into the woods.

Today I rode down the Haleakala volcano from the Park Ranger Station at 6500' to Pony Express, which is about 2000 vertical in about 4 miles through about 16 or 18 switchbacks.

Haleakala Highway above Pony Express. Not for the faint of heart.

I stopped every 4 switchbacks or so to check the brake temperatures, and they were fine. Hot, but not too hot to touch. I was riding the brakes hard, because this thing is a handful on a road like this. It rides high and tippy. I've had to un-learn a lot of things that are habit from skiing and surfing in order to keep my skin attached. On a surfboard, if you want to cut back heel-side, you can bury the fin, kick your front leg back, and pivot the board on its tail. Try that with this beast at 25 mph and you've earned a trip to the E.R. The MBS requires subtlety and a very low center of gravity.

It's got really nice adjustable truck suspension springs, so I've been carrying a hex key set in my backpack to fiddle with the settings., Haven't found the sweet spot yet.

New Toy

2011-04-24T01:26:00.003-04:00

Ski season is over. No more powder days. The winter North swells are over, no more big surf days. Other than surfing an occasional mellow South swell, amusement is becoming hard to find.

Hence, my new toy.

Note the four-wheel disc brakes.

Yes, I've already taken a wipeout (at about 25 mph), which is not nearly as much fun on a tarmac road as falling off a surfboard into the ocean or tumbling into 20 inches of fresh powder. But with a helmet, elbow guards, wrist guards, and thick clothing, wipeouts are survivable.

Kitzbühel Wins.....

2011-04-18T12:59:00.002-04:00

Congratulations to my friends at The Hahnenkammrennen in Kitzbühel for winning the FIS Alpine Ski World Cup Organizer Award for the best race week on the World Cup circuit.

The FIS OC Award is based on evaluations of each Organizer by key stakeholder groups of the Audi FIS Alpine Ski World Cup ranging from the athletes to team captains and representatives of the print and photographic media and broadcasters.

Here is my personal take on this:

In 26 years in professional sports production, the HKR is the best event I've ever been involved with. Hands down. Their "secret" is this: In addition to a whole lot of smart and dedicated people, they're all skiers.

Duh.

Not as simple as it sounds.

As events grow and mature, the organizations running them tend to lose the hard-core tennis players, runners, drivers (or whatever) who got the event rolling in the first place. A certain amount of professional management is necessary as events grow beyond a certain point, but as soon as (for example) the US Open brings in a guy from The Rockettes to run things, or US Beach Volleyball brings in a tennis promoter to run things, that's when everything goes to hell.

I'm actually surprised the presenters were able to assemble a bunch of the Kitzbühel guys for the above photo. Must have been at night. If it were during the day, they would have all been out skiing.

Insert French Joke Here.....

2011-04-12T12:22:00.002-04:00

Nice job by an Air France pilot yesterday at JFK. He must have thought he was in line for a croissant, so he'd just shove the American aside (like the smelly bastards all do).

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/apr/12/us-impounds-superjumbo-after-collision

Typical fucking Frog.

Sad Incident in Jackson Hole

2011-04-08T15:34:00.002-04:00

A sad recent incident in Jackson Hole illustrates one of the major difference between skiing in the US and skiing in Europe.

http://www.jhnewsandguide.com/article.php?art_id=6974

A 78 year old, retired physician was arrested for skinning up the mountain at Jackson Hole to watch his granddaughter race.

In the US (really, in North America) you are not allowed to cross ski area boundaries under penalty of arrest. You are not allowed on inbounds ski trails without a lift pass, even if you are not using the lifts. This, despite the fact that virtually all ski resorts are on leased Federal Land. Land which, in theory, belongs to all of us. In Utah (for example) at Park City and The Canyons, which have an adjoining boundary, it is against the law to cross from one to the other - even if you have bought a lift ticket for both. People are arrested for this all the time.

In Austria, the concept of trespassing and property rights are fundamentally different than in North America. Austrians are not allowed to prohibit reasonable passage across their land. Property owners can put up reasonable fences, and those crossing must exercise reasonable courtesy (can't drop trash, can't camp out, can't create disturbances at odd hours, can't cause any damage) but for the most part, anybody can put on a pair of skis or snowshoes on one side of the Austrian Alps and cross the entire country using whatever route they please.

Both sides respect these laws.

I guess the key phrase is "reasonable". In Austria, if you are crossing somebody's land and fall off their mountainside, you can't sue. It is your own damn fault. If you die in an avalanche, whether you are inbounds or out of bounds, you can't sue. You need to be aware of hazards like cliffs, terrain traps, and unstable snow packs. You need to have a clue. You need to accept risk. Here in North America, with lawyers suing everybody in sight for anything they can think of, and anybody to whom something bad happens claims to be a victim of somebody else's negligence, all bets are off.

It's a bit like the gun control issue. One would think reasonable people could come to a reasonable agreement for the greater good. But once lawyers and lobbyists take over, any hope of reasonableness vanishes. I really don't blame ski resorts for enforcing crazy laws, because legal costs threaten the viability of every single resort in North America. Patrolmen have a right to prohibit uphill travel at certain times to certain areas so they can perform avalanche control, which involves howitzer cannons, nitrogen-powered missiles, and explosives. That is certainly reasonable. OTOH, as a backcountry skier, I just have to shake my head at a 78-year-old guy, who's got 75 years of ski experience, out for a casual skin on a groomed cat track on Federal Land, being put in handcuffs and thrown in the clink. That is not reasonable.

Ski Porn: A Film About How A Bunch of Middle-Aged Guys Get Their Rocks Off High In The Austrian Alps

2011-04-03T21:12:00.005-04:00

During one of the epic all-day alpentours Hermi6 led us on in Austria a few weeks ago, Michael Huber (President of the Kitzbüheler Ski Club) lagged behind the group most of the day. This vaguely registered in my oxygen-starved brain as strange, because Michael is a world-class alpinist. But hey, whatever. I was concentrating on just not falling off the mountain. Turns out he was lagging behind purposely, because he was filming.

At the end of one of the best alpentouring days ever, Michael presented us with his "Director's Cut" of our alpentour of the Torhelm and the Katzenkopf, two of the highest peaks in the Kitzbühel Alps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHmxPjZ34po

The 2011 ski season is, alas, over. Best ski season ever, for me. Watching this makes me want to click into my bindings and do the whole thing over again.

I'm the guy in the sand-colored pants and orange rucksack. Ted is wearing a tennis ball-colored wind jacket. Hermi6 is wearing a bright orange jacket, which he sometimes shed in favor of a blue windstopper jacket. The guy with the headband is Hans. The short guy is Gidi, a retired Kitzbühel professional ski guide.

After hiking up out of the ski resort of Zell Am Ziller, we summitted and skied both the Torhelm and the Katzenkopf, then skied a wild & crazy valley runout about 6 or 7 Km long through a bunch of farms, finally arriving at the end of a remote mountain road near a small alpine town called Kelchsau. Michael phoned back to the KSC, and somebody drove out to pick us up in a van. We were 5 or 6 towns over from where we started, and I don't know how many miles.

That's one of the cool things about alpentouring in Europe, as opposed to skiing in North America. In Austria, before you leave, you pack maps, topo maps, the train schedule, and the bus schedule, because you actually ski to someplace. In North America, you ski all day and wind up exactly where you started.

Riding The School Bus In "Powder Country"

2011-03-25T20:54:00.004-04:00

Another EPIC powder day at Powder Mountain.

Perhaps you thought I was kidding about the school bus?

And That's Why They Call It "Powder Mountain"

2011-03-24T03:41:00.006-04:00

First lap through "Powder Country".

My 8th Lap of "Powder Country". Of the tracks you see here, 5 of them are mine.

About 90 minutes North of Salt Lake City there's a quirky, funky local's ski area named Powder Mountain (affectionately referred to as PowMow).

I don't know for a fact, but I would guess no capital improvements have been made at PowMow for 20 years.

For starters, PowMow is upside down. The main parking lot is at the top of the mountain.

Most of the lifts are old and slow.

Across the Ogden Valley, mighty Snowbasin has a magnificent stone-and-log day lodge ("Earl's"), which features a mahogany and brass locker room large enough for the Yankees to hold infield practice. PowMow doesn't even have a locker room. The only place to change your clothes at PowMow is in your car.

Your local McDonalds has much larger (and much nicer, and much cleaner) bathrooms than the main day lodge at PowMow.

At nearby Deer Valley, it is common to see skiers whipping out their cellphones on the chairlift to make a reservation at one of the gourmet on-mountain eateries, which have wine lists and feature vittles like foie gras and cranberry salad with organic goat cheese. At PowMow, a hot dog with melted Velveeta and a Coke in a paper cup is about as gourmet as you're going to get.

At PowMow, the two best parts of the mountain do not have lifts. When you ski the aptly-named "Powder Country", you must take an old school bus back to the resort when you reach the bottom. When you ski "James Peak", you must either boot pack or skin up 200 vertical feet, ski down a short access road, and then climb 700 more vertical feet to access the peak.

But, sports fans.......when it comes time to get your jiggy on, to crank and bank your planks, to arc 'em out in snorkel powder, there is no better place on the planet to score thigh-deep powder and face shots all day long. And yesterday (March 23) was one of those days.

Preparing to skin up James Peak. Notice, at this point, there are only two sets of tracks coming down from the top.

First lap through James Peak. Notice there are now THREE sets of tracks coming down from the top. Notice also that it's 2 PM and only three people have put down tracks here.

To avoid a long runout, after laying down about 60 turns on the main face one traverses across the bowls of James Peak, grabbing 15-20 or so turns in each bowl before moving across the ridgeline to the next bowl.

Reminds me of a ski film from a few years back: "The Blizzard Of Aaaaahs".

Eden, Utah is the nearest town to PowMow. After a hard day skiing PowMow, this is the dyslexic's favorite place to go chow.

POWDER DAY!

2011-03-22T23:56:00.001-04:00

Tracks of the Rare Alpine Skunk spotted at Deer Valley, March 22.

KSC Alpenverein Tour of Mayrhofen / Zillertal

2011-03-18T07:54:00.004-04:00

I finally got to go on an alpentour with the famed KSC Alpenverein, the touring club of the KSC. Fantastic day, and even more fantastic to see that the Alpenverein on this day was mostly over-50, with a significant number (maybe 20% or 25% of the skiers) were over 70. To see that much gray hair climbing 4000 feet in a day and then skiing the hell out of that kind of terrain showcases the obvious health benefits of the alpine lifestyle. A few of the oldsters were a little shaky on the "down", but none had any problems whatsoever with the "up".

Take a look at these photos. Then go to any American shopping mall and view the kind of flesh (of every age) whose fitness limit tops out at getting from their car into the cookie section of Wal Mart.

The Alpenverein hired two professional mountain guides for the day to keep us all out of trouble.

The Mayrhofner Bergbahn rises a little over 3000 feet and is the largest-capacity cable car in Austria. The cars are roughly about the size of two Greyhound buses, and each holds 160 people.

Check out all they gray hair. Of the 6 KSC skiers in the foreground, the youngest is 65, the rest are 70 or older. Amazing fitness and a testament to the alpine lifestyle.

That big honkin' peak on the left is where we're going.

Ted seems excited about climbing all the way up there.

This brings to mind a saying about dogsledding: The first dog gets a great view for 2000 miles. The 5th dog spends a month with nothing to look at except the ass of the dog in front of him.

Schiwasser

2011-03-13T06:09:00.003-04:00

Skiing in Europe, especially in Austria, has a much older and robust tradition than in the US.

In the US, skiing caught on as a recreation starting around 1950 as a result of ski training provided to the 10th Mountain Division troops during World War II so that they could fight wars in the Appenine Mountains of Italy. After the war ended and soldiers went home to make normal lives for themselves, many former 10th Mountain Division troops opened up commercial ski areas like Vail and Aspen, spreading alpine skiing around North America like Pied Pipers.

In the US, perhaps the most famous 10th Mountain Div soldier is former Presidential candidate Bob Dole, whose famous pen-wielding handicapped arm remains damaged after being shot in the battle of Riva Ridge. Those of you who have skied Vail will no doubt recognize the name Riva Ridge, as it is the name of one of the longest and most fun ski trails on Vail Mountain.

In Austria, skiing started several hundred years earlier as a way simply to get around during the winter, and to survive. Alpine skiing in its current form was brought to continental Europe and specifically to Kitzbühel by a guy named Franz Reisch in about 1880. If you want to read or hear more about it, either read the award-winning book Chronicle of a Myth by my good friend and ski partner Dr Michael Huber (aka Dr Hahnenkamm), or come to Kitzbühel, take the Hornbahn cable car up to lunch at the Alpenhaus restaurant at the top of the Kitzbühelerhorn (www.alpenhaus.at), and ask for Franz Reich IV. Franz Reich IV, whom I have met, is the great-grandson of the guy who basically invented alpine skiing in continental europe, and to this day his family owns and operates the Kitzbühelerhorn.

After countless business trips, ski trips, and ski days in Kitzbühel, I am still learning great new stuff every day about ski and mountaineering techniques and traditions here. The latest is a beverage called "schiwasser" (SHEE vass urr). It has existed for hundreds of years in Austria. In the winter it is served warm to defrost and energize a shivering skier. In the summer it is served cold to refresh the tired mountaineer.

Schiwasser is made with a delicious, sugary syrup added to either cold or hot water. The best syrup is made by D'arbo, but there are plenty of other brands.

This is D'arbo schiwasser syrup, Elderberry flavor.

This is D'arbo schiwasser syrup, wild raspberry flavor.

The most common schiwasser flavors appear to be wild raspberry and strawberry, which yield a pink fluid (when properly mixed) that is remarkably refreshing. But there are dozens of flavors available.

Best Bathroom Door. Ever.

2011-03-12T14:20:00.005-05:00

Today's alpentour started off at the Wildkogel in Mittersill. We (Ted, Hermi6, myself) had a special guest: Petra, niece of the Lady Of The House at Villa Mellon.

Petra at the summit of the Frühmesser, 2233 meters high. Notice the complete absence of snow. Obviously this side of the summit faces South.

We skied, then summitted the Frühmesser, then skied some more, then summitted the Steinkogel.

Petra and Hermi6 at the summit of the Steinkogel.

From the top of the Steinkogel we skied down about 1500 feet to a backcountry restaurant called The Steineralm. This place is so far in the middle of nowhere that daily supplies and victuals are delivered by snowmobile and toboggan.

Road? We don't need no stinkin' road.

Once at the Steineralm I sought to go for a pee, whereupon I discovered this extraordinarily clever 3D icon on the door to the WC:

Birthday Schnitzel

2011-03-11T11:18:00.004-05:00

Celebrating my birthday, Austrian style.

Kitzbuhel links up via ski lift with neighboring mountains Jochburg and Pass Thurn to form a ski resort many times bigger than North America's two biggest ski resorts combined (Whistler/Blackcomb and Vail). To celebrate my birthday, four of us caught the first tram of the morning up the Hahnenkammbahn and skied across all three. Around 13:00 we wound up at a ski-in restaurant called Berghotel Breitmoos, which according to the President of the KSC serves the best ski-in food in all of Tirol.

We sat out on Breitmoos's stone patio in the sun on a cloudless, perfect Tirolean afternoon. I chowed down my Birthday Schnitzel with a cold Almdudler (Austrian ginger ale) and a dessert crepe. By the time we finished celebrating it was too late to ski back to Kitzbuhel, so we caught the schibus home.

One of the best birthdays ever.

My birthday posse: Hermi6, Ted, Krystl.

That's Why They Call It "Touring"

2011-03-10T12:58:00.003-05:00

It hasn't snowed in the Tirol region of Austria for 3 weeks. In order to find fresh pow, one has to (A) stay in the very high alpine terrain, where the temps remain cold day and night, and (B) ski where nobody else knows or dares.

As you can see from the above photo, we found plenty of fresh pow today. We (4 Crazy-ass Austrians, Ted, myself) drove an hour over to Zell Am Ziller, took the lifts up to get free 3000 ft altitude (actually it cost 11 Euro), then toured up to, and skied, the tallest peak in Tirol. The terrain was pretty gnarly.

How gnarly was it?

Answer: I wore my helmet on my way up.

Ski crampons are great. Not too many skiers know what they are, but my crampies saved my ass today. When you're climbing icy, wind-swept alpine terrain on skins and it gets too steep for your skins to hold, you use ski crampons. I deployed mine today, and I was Shut-The-Front-Door happy I had them. It's 10:30 PM now, and I might still be out there if I didn't have them in my pack.

Touring is so much different in AUT than in North America. In places like Revelstoke and in the Wasatch Mountains of Utah, you really don't have to worry about falling off mountains while ski touring. You may get knocked off the mountain by an avalanche, you may get unlucky or stupid and fall off some rocks, but the snow is so deep that if you slip while climbing on your skins, you'll probably slide about two meters before you ker-plunk into 10 meters of snow like a lawn dart.

In Austria, not so much. Much shallower snow pack here, and the milder temperatures cause ice on many West- and South-facing slopes. If you slip in a bad place, you may slide down a few thousand vertical feet and through several different ZIP codes before you hit something hard enough to make you stop. It's definitely a concern. I would never tour here without my posse of crazy-ass Austrians who have been touring these mountains for 50 years and will not let me get hurt.

Ted grabbing fresh tracks. Nice jaaaaaaaaaacket....does it come in a mens model?

Today's Ass-Kicking

2011-03-09T12:53:00.004-05:00

Consistently getting my ass kicked on the uphill leg by Austrians up to 20 years older than me.

The scene of today's ass-kicking was the Sonnespitz. I got thoroughly spanked.

There's a reason why my mouth is hanging open, there's sweat pouring off me, and I'm caked with salt. I'm getting my North American White Boy East Coast Preppie ass SOUNDLY kicked.

Looking and feeling a little less whupped here. We're at the top of the Sonnespitz and the climbing is done for the day. Nothing left to do except ski down and then drink lots of Austrian beer.

It has been warm here for weeks, and the snow is getting thin. Ted fjords a stream near the bottom of the Sonnespitz as Hans and Hermi6, Austrian kickers of ass, wait for us on the far side.

Crazy Austrian

2011-03-08T17:13:00.003-05:00

Remember the "Crazy Ivan" maneuver from The Hunt for Red October?

Here's how to do a slight variation, the "Crazy Austrian":

1) Alpentour the Hahnenkamm with a bunch of Austrians. At night.

2) Stop in at the KSC Clubhouse at the very top (which also doubles as the Starthaus for the biggest race in the world) for cocktails:

3) Knock back a few beers and a glass or two of KSC's private label wine:

Served, of course, in a KSC wine glass:

4) Ski next door to the Hockech Hutte for dinner (sorry, no pikkies of that)

5) About the time the wait staff of Hockech Hutte throws your ass out, click into your bindings and schuss down The Hahnenkamm, one of the steepest, gnarliest in-bounds ski mountains in the world, around midnight.....by the light of your headlamp (Gotta get video of that sometime!).

Performing the Shovel Tilt Test

2011-03-06T23:04:00.008-05:00

1. Prepare a standard snow pit
2. Perform standard density test

3. Mark 30 cubic cm

4. Cut

5. Wedge

6. Liberate sample with your shovel

7. Tap

8. Examine sheared-off remainder for base layer characteristics
9. (Most important) Go grab some fresh tracks

Avalanche School: Somewhere in Between Park City and Canyons Resort, UT

2011-03-05T22:04:00.006-05:00

AIARE Level 1 Avalanche Course.

Once a skier is buried, you've got about 11-12 minutes before he suffocates. Working in teams of 2 or more is a lot more effective than going it alone. One person mans the transceiver, one mans the probe, and they either transition to digging or are joined by another digger(s).

The key is practice and technique. Transceivers and probes are tricky to use, and nobody ever explained the nuances to me. I've owned my avalanche transceiver for 5 years and before today, I couldn't find a transmitter shoved up my own ass. After one day of extensive drilling, teams of three or four were able to dig out three simulated victims spread out across a simulated debris field the size of 4 basketball courts in <= 10 minutes.

Teachers and students digging a snow pit. Dig down two meters and you can see evidence of every storm, thaw, and weather variation since autumn.

Lee, the lead guide / instructor, explains how to read the snow pit wall like tea leaves. Will a slide break loose where we're skiing today?

POWDER DAY AT THE BASIN

2011-03-03T19:02:00.003-05:00

Sightings of the Rare Alpine Skunk by Canadian authorities led us to believe the elusive creature was hibernating deep in the interior of British Columbia.

The little fella has refuted this by finally making his appearance in his usual winter habitat, the Ogden Valley near Huntsville and Eden, Utah.
Clearly the tracks of the Rare Alpine Skunk

A cloudy, snowy day makes the tracks of the elusive Rare Alpine Skunk even harder to spot than normal.

Hot Shot(s)

2011-03-03T07:21:00.003-05:00

Yesterday's blizzard from inside Snowbasin's majestic John Paul Lodge up at 8,335 feet altitude. Unfortunately, the blizzard only lasted about 45 minutes and dropped only 3 or 4 inches of fresh pow.

Snowbasin's legacy from the 2002 Olympics is 3 huge, gorgeous day lodges (Needles, John Paul, Earl's) even though there are no on-mountain accomodations and (for the most part) only locals ski here.

Supposedly on-mountain development is coming, but we've been hearing that since about 1994.

Shimano Ultegra Crank Failure

2011-02-25T18:51:00.003-05:00

I was a very lucky guy today.

I am constantly amused when the guys on my bike team brag about their latest carbon doo-dad which is 120 grams lighter then their old doo-dad.

I don't want something lighter. I want something stronger.

And here's why:

This happened with no warning today as I was climbing Hill 19 out in Kahikinui, a long slow uphill slog out in the middle of Maui's Northern Desert. Kahikinui is a spot from which you can see (when the weather is clear) the twin 15,000-foot peaks of Mauna Loa and Manua Kea on The Big Island (across the Alenuihaha Channel) and the island of Kaho'olawe. There are no homes, no cars, no cellular coverage, no police patrols, and pretty much just a whole lot of nothing out there. Great for peaceful and relatively safe riding, but no so good when a part on your bike shatters.

Fortunately, when it happened I had a good solid hold on the bars, and I didn't go down.

I did have to hitchhike 20 miles back to Kula, but I was picked up by a very nice fellow named Sid in a pickup truck. Sid also rides, so he knew the drill.

Alpentouring At Roger's Pass, Glacier National Park, British Columbia

2011-02-19T20:41:00.006-05:00

Looking at the Mt McDonald Chutes across the Trans-Canada Highway, from high atop the Cheops Chutes.

You know you're in the right place when the roads up to the ski area have snow stacked 45 feet high on the sides.

Roger's Pass is a touring-only backcountry ski area about an hour from Revelstoke. There are no lifts, you must earn your turns.

http://www.pc.gc.ca/pn-np/bc/glacier/activ/activ1.aspx

The area is partially avalanche-controlled, but it is, admittedly, a bit dangerous. Cliffs, ice falls, and avalanches can ruin the fuck out of one's day.

The park has an interesting permit system in place whereby its 12 (or so) mountain peaks are divided up into approximately 4-square-mile chunks, and you must take out a permit for the area you intend to tour / climb / ski. Attached to the permit is a numbered tag which you must leave on the dashboard of your car in the only parking lot. If darkness is approaching and there are any cars left in the parking lot, the Park Rangers will know who you are, when you departed on your tour, approximately where you are climbing / skiing, and that you're overdue.

Dudley Doo-Right patrols the high peaks sporadically in helicopters, on snowmobiles, on skis, and via snowshoe, checking permits. The permits are not expensive ($7 day, unlimited number of tours), but Dudley REALLY REALLY wants you to utilize the permit system properly, because dead skiers do not make for good public relations.

First we climbed and skied the Cheops Chutes, which rise up about 2000 vertical feet from the shoulder of the Trans Canada Highway. We climbed up in dense trees (virtually avalanche-proof) and popped out into a chute with perfect untracked powder. Absolutely unreal tree skiing, not another skier's track in sight, and judging by the depth of the tree wells, snow about 25 feet deep. We then took a break, fueled up, took out another permit for another area, and climbed and skied the Grizzly Shoulder. Grizzly drops about 2500 feet down into a drainage creek. It was getting late so we only climbed / skied about halfway.

We started our day about 10 AM and finished up around 3:30.

Jane, jumping for joy.

Jane gets it on, in the Cheops Chute.

Yours truly scoring face shots at the Grizzly Shoulder.

The Moment Of Truth. This is exactly what I came to British Columbia to do.

Revelstoke, British Columbia

2011-02-15T22:12:00.002-05:00

Believe the hype.

Revelstoke opened only in 2008, but already it has gained a reputation as the skier's resort.

After my first day skiing here, I can report . . . the hype is mostly true. Simply put, you will not find better skiing anywhere. I would say Nevados de Chillan in Chile and Powder Mountain and Snowbasin in Utah are in the same league, but not better. If you are into backcountry, powder, and face shots, this is the place. If you ski with a shovel and an avalanche probe in your pack, this is the place. Revelstoke is an infinite orgasm loop for the hard core skier.

Steep? Check.

Deep? Check.

Uncrowded? Check.

It snows about 600 inches a year here, and nobody can get here to ski. There is no airport, it's a 9 hour drive from Vancouver, a 6 hour drive from Banff, and the roads leading here are closed for days - sometime weeks - at a time, due to avalanches.

A note to my friends Dingo and Trampass:

Forget about Switzerland.

FUCK Switzerland.

Guys. If you want to ski for real, strap on a pair of extra-wide powder boards and a large set of gonads, and go to Revelstoke. Period. Full stop.

Compared to Revelstoke, Switzerland is for pussies.

Today I was skiing with a friend who, as a teenager, raced World Cup downhill and has skied the steepest and deepest all over the world. She also was stunned by Revelstoke. I was on my K2 Coombas, a backcountry ski packing 102 underfoot, and they were skinnier than 99% of the skis I saw in the lift line.

Skiing With The Cousins

2011-02-14T04:35:00.004-05:00

My little cousins, Jessica and Matthew, age 11 and 7. Their mother, Sarah, is my first cousin (my father's brother's daughter).

Apex Mountain, British Columbia

Hot Shot

2011-02-07T00:44:00.003-05:00

Lowers, Kanaha today.

I love my new Olympus camera with 30x zoom. The reef is almost a half mile from shore, and I was standing on the beach when I snapped this.

Portugese Man-O-War

2011-01-31T22:09:00.004-05:00

After returning from Europe Tuesday night, I went surfing at Lower Kanaha on Wednesday morning and one of these combative little fuckers lit me up pretty good.

I actually never saw the creature. Probably what stung me was a detatched tentacle. It was so thin I couldn't see it; it wrapped around my wristwatch and stung the sh!t out of my forearm until I was able to grab it with my other hand (by feel) and toss it away. The whole incident consumed less than 2 seconds.

I have been stung by Man-O-War about a half-dozen times (on several occasions much worse than this), so for those of you who dive, surf, swim in the ocean, kiteboard, and so forth, I thought I'd expound a bit on what to do should you find yourself a victim.

My right forearm, 5 days after the fact.

Unless you're one of those unfortunate people so allergic to bites you must carry an anaphylactic pen, Man-O-War stings are not that big a deal. They "smart". They won't kill you, they won't even put you out of commission for a day. Depending on the size of the creature and the severity of the stings, a Man O War attack feels like somewhere between 4 and 15 bee stings.

When you're being stung, it feels like the aforementioned bee stings, or, if you've ever been dumb enough to do it, like sticking your tongue between the poles of a 9v battery.

As soon as you feel yourself being stung, find the tentacles and get them off. Otherwise the damn thing will sting you for an hour.

Once the stinging stops, it's decision time. If the injury feels like a half-doze bee stings or less, there's no reason to paddle in or get back in the boat. The cool ocean water will salve the stings and after 10 minutes, it will stop hurting. If the stings are worse, then get out of the water and go lie down for a while.

What happens when you get stung badly is the toxins congregate in your lymph nodes, and in about 3-6 minutes you will start to get a dull ache in your groin, your neck, and perhaps your armpits. Best to be lying down sipping a cold drink when this happens, not out in the ocean swimming around. It's not a terrible pain, but a dull ache - like being smacked in the Family Jewels by a soccer ball. Not nearly as bad as being kicked in the groin or punched in the throat.

Even if the stings are bad, it will all stop hurting in about a half hour. Then the fun starts.

Applying ammonia or vinegar to your stings will, well, take out the sting. In Hawai'i, any lifeguard will probably have a spray bottle of ammonia. If you can't find a lifeguard, then pee on the stings. I am not making this up. It works. If you haven't had anything to drink for a few hours, get a friend to pee on you (it helps the sting and it's a great conversation starter). Walk up to any local in a beachside parking lot in Hawaii (HINT: a local will be driving a banged-up pickup truck, not a freshly-washed Mustang convertible) and ask him / her to pee on you. Odds are they are a surfer, a windsurfer, a kiteboarder, a sponger, or a SUP-er, and they will promptly oblige.

I learned this trick from my friend Keith, the Shop Manager at Simmer Hawaii. One day many years ago we were out surfing, and when I paddled in I found him in the parking lot, peeing on his wife. An interesting conversation ensued. 15 years later, they are still happily married, they have 4 kids, and they both still surf.

The real problems start the next day. Those of you who live in Florida will know exactly what I'm talking about when I say that after about a day, Man-O-War stings turn into fire ant bites. The area itches so bad you will have an irresistible urge to fillet the skin right off the stung area with a combat knife.

This, also, is easily dealt with. Use aloe. Aloe grows wild all over Hawaii. I have dozens of aloe plants in my front yard. Like these....

And these.....
Grab a stalk of fresh aloe, peel back the skin to expose the clear, viscous balm within, and rub liberally into the stung skin.

The itch will vanish for about 4 hours.

If you're not lucky enough to have aloe (pronounced AH-low by us haoles and ah-LOW-ay by the locals) growing all over your front yard, and can't find any growing wild in the parking lot of your condo / hotel, then buy a bottle of this stuff, it works just as well as the fresh stuff, if not better:

Expect the bites to itch like hell, and look unsightly, for about 5 days.

Years ago I was out windsurfing one day at Ku'au and I got stung REALLY bad. I had tentacles around my neck, across my face, on my forehead. It stung like hell. I sailed in and laid down on the rocks until the nausea and pain in my lymph nodes went away. Then I sailed out and rode more waves. The next morning, when I woke up, the pain was gone and I actually forgot I'd been stung until I stepped in front of the mirror to brush my teeth. I looked up and actually screamed. I looked like the guy in Aliens with the vampire squid attached to his face. I had huge nasty angry-looking red welts spidered across my face, neck, and forehead. It was really gross. My girlfriend at the time was flying in that night from Florida, I had to call her and warn her not to be scared when she saw me with a vampire squid on my face at Kahului Airport.

Bad Government Policy vs Good Government Policy

2011-01-26T19:52:00.002-05:00

Subject: Yesterday's trip home from Europe. British Air from Munich to London, AA from London to LAX, AA from LAX to OGG.

Good Government Policy: Using the Global Entry kiosk, I passed through United States Customs in Los Angeles in less than 45 seconds. Slapped my hand down on the fingerprint scanner, touched a few boxes, and POOF...I was through to Baggage Claim. I was done and dusted before most people on my flight even got through the cattle guides to start waiting in the Customs line.

Bad Government Policy: I had to go through security screening three, count 'em THREE times. Once in Munich, again after switching terminals at Heathrow, and yet again after arriving at LAX. Passing through Customs at LAX dumps you right out to curbside, so you have to go through the full gamut of TSA Barefoot Kabuki Dance bullshit to get back airside to catch any continuing flights. Grrrrrrr.

Grugger's Crash at Kitzbühel Hahnenkamm

2011-01-24T01:15:00.002-05:00

Not for the squeamish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3sojYGXNvo

The Mausefalle is notorious for maiming and, a few times, almost killing ski racers. Ironically, in the time we've been Rolex Official Timing here (6 years) there hasn't been one crash in the Mausefalle.

Until TRAINING ONE, 2011.

Grugger is a really, really good downhiller. One of the 20 best in the world. Hard to say what went wrong. No wind, Extremely icy. Looks like he was just a fraction of a second late on his pre-jump.

Word is we almost lost him. When the medics reached him, his heart had stopped and he had to be intubated right there at Interval One. It's always a bad sign when the flight-for-life chopper drops off the medic and immediately RTBs and lands. If the skier is merely hurt, the pilot hovers for 2 minutes while the skier is bundled into the basket, then picks up the basket and the rescue worker, and off they go. The helipad is 200 meters from our HQ, so when Mr Chopper RTB'd and we were still watching a gaggle of EMTs working on Grugger up at the Mausefalle, we knew it was bad.

Benni Raich, an Austrian who has won two Crystal Globes (overall World Cup Champion), pulled out of the downhill after seeing Grugger's crash. Raich hasn't been skiing speed well this season and he's not really a downhiller anyway. He's arguably the best technical skier in the world, and only races downhill to try to pick up some points toward the overall. Very wisely, Raich took stock and faced the uncomfortable reality that even with 100% confidence, Kitzbühel is so risky that facing the Hahnenkamm at racing speeds with anything less than hubris is foolish.

Everybody around here has nothing but loads of respect for Raich, and his decision did nothing to change that. 4 or 5 years ago, Raich was in the gate when US downhiller Scott Macartney crashed in the Zielsprung and almost died. Raich had to wait around for 20 minutes while the EMTs worked on Macartney in the finish stadium, struggling to keep the American alive, watching it on TV in the Starthaus. When the course cleared, Raich launched and had a solid run. That takes a level of balls none of the "extreme" ramp monkeys in all of those made-for-TV sports can ever begin to fathom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he24trOJ2H4

Only 55 guys in the world had the nut-sacks to attempt this race in 2011. Bode Miller, who also hasn't been skiing well this season, pulled himself together and laid down an amazing run. He looked like the sure winner. Then Didier Cuche, who has won here 3 times previously, beat Miller by almost a second.

Some truly amazing skiing. As US downhiller Steve Nyman said the other day, "Kitzbühel is composed of section after section where you can either become a ski racing god or a hospital patient. It all comes down to what you're willing to risk that day".

WANT!

2011-01-20T09:18:00.003-05:00

WANT!

WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT! WANT!

Video Wall Erection, Kitzbühel Style

2011-01-18T12:41:00.007-05:00

"Just like back in Saigon! Eh, Slick?"

-Special Agent Johnson, Die Hard

People frequently tell me I lead an exotic life. To me, one of the coolest things about doing what I do is getting the chance to watch other guys with other, equally exotic skillsets doing their thing, in their element.

And I'm not talking about the athletes. When I get home from a gig, I rarely can remember who won. I rarely watch the field of play. I'm too busy concentrating on keeping the 1's and 0's flowing smoothly and in the correct order.

Ski races are the most difficult sports production environment I've ever seen. The course is about 5000 meters long, and the change in vertical elevation between start and finish is about 3000 feet. Its usually cold (except at Whistler) and frequently snowing. Deploying almost anything, almost anywhere on the course, is a logistical cast-iron bitch. The guys who work for me are all shit-hot skiers, and they all work themselves half to death. At the end of a ski gig, we are all completely bricked.

It's a challenge. And of course, Kitzbühel, being the biggest, baddest of them all, is the biggest challenge.

Today was one of those times when I stood gob-smacked by the skills of others.

The KSC arranged for their helicopter contractor, WUCHER, to sling our video wall in 5 pieces up onto a scaffolding in the slalom arena. Normally it would take 5 or 6 guys all day to get the modules up on the hill and assemble them in place. WUCHER did it in 21 minutes. That included 5 round-trips from a freight yard over in Kirchberg, the next town down the train line from Kitz, where we assembled the sub-assemblies.

I'm not sure who was more impressive, the load-master or the pilot. The load-master can take a look at a piece of freight, walk around it a few times, and make a 100% reliable, life-or-death, go/no go decision as to whether then thing can be lifted up and set into place. The pilot was simply awesome. If you were laying out in a lawn chair, this guy could pop a piece of chocolate tied to the end of a 100-foot-long chain into your mouth without touching your lips. I exaggerate not.

Unfortunately, a lot of these photos are pretty sucky because I was actively involved in the process, and the frantic pace of doing a day's work in 21 minutes left little time to get my camera ready.

There is video as well.

http://www.wucher-helicopter.at/

READY. The first sub-assembly stands ready over in Kirchberg.

STEADY

Here comes the extremely bad-ass pilot.

The guy in the orange is the load-master. He's also one extremely bad-ass motherf......

In this business, nobody gets an "oops".

Later, dude! See you in 4 minutes!

Meanwhile, on the receiving end......

(photos courtesy of Michael Walker Photography)

Tornado Damage to The Streif

2011-01-14T22:27:00.003-05:00

In early August a tornado scored a direct hit on the notorious Hahnenkamm. The Strief racecourse looks totally different this year, as the storm ripped out entire hillsides of old growth trees on both sides of the track.

One local told me, in respectful tones, "the Hahnenkamm is a dangerous mountain, not only in the sporting context".

Ein Kleine NachtFun, Austrian Style

2011-01-12T15:54:00.005-05:00

You may find the first part of this post a little boring.

Trust me, it gets better.

This is what I've been doing for the last (approximately) 48 hours.

Flew 5 hours Maui - LAX. Killed an hour in the AA Flagship Lounge.

Flew 5 hours LAX - JFK. Killed an hour in the AA Flagship Lounge.

Flew 6 hours JFK - Heathrow. Killed an hour in the BA Lounge. Managed to abstain from all the nasty starchy cookies and tea-nibbling finger foods.

Flew 90 minutes LHR - Munich. Walked across Munich Airport to the Deutche Bahn station.

Rode the train 40 minutes Munich Airport - Munich Ost. Switched trains.

Rode 40 minutes Munich Ost - Rosenheim.

Rosenheim is a small switch point on the Deutche Bahn. 4 tracks, 8 platforms. I found myself pretty much alone out on platform 8. I could see a few people milling about at the other end of a distant platform. Hermi6, my boss at the Hahnenkamm, was to pick me up at the Hahnekamm train station, and had requested that I show up in Kitzbühel suited up and ready to ski. At some point, I had to change into my ski clothes, because Hermi6 is Vice President of the KSC Board of Directors. Skiing with Hermi6 is a BIG DEAL. This would be like "Buzzy" calling and telling you to be ready to play 18 holes at Augusta National when you show up to start installing network switches. Now was as good a time as any. The weather was around 30 degrees F (-1C), no wind. Rather than schlepping both my rolling Samsonite suitcases into the Rosenheim terminal building and finding a mens room, I took a quick look around, opened my suitcase, and stripped down to my undies (NOTE : I wear briefs. I know, too much information). As I grabbed a wool t-shirt and my FlyLow outfit out of my suitcase, I turned around, glanced across at the next platform, and saw there was a nun standing there watching me. In full habit. A full-on, Sally Fields-league nun, complete with white Tupolev 144 variable-geometry canards sprouting from her head. I looked at her. She looked at me, an almost-naked guy with a deep tan which ends mid-thigh and mid-bicep (from sunny Hawaii days spent cycling). She held my gaze for a moment, spun on her heel, and walked off.

I wonder what SHE's writing on her blog tonight?

Rode 30 minutes Rosenheim - Kufstein. Now in my ski clothes. Switched trains.

Rode 30 minutes Kufstein - Wörgl. Switched trains.

Rode 30 minutes Kufstein - Kitzbühel.

Hermi6 met me at the train. In the back of his car, he had an absolutely killer, brand new set of Dynafit touring skis for me, with the bindungen already pre-sized to my boots (I'd given him the sole length of my boots over the phone). The latest and greatest bad-ass alpentouring setup. Right there in the parking lot of the Kitzbühelhorn train station, he popped my boots into the Dynafit bindings. They were about 1 cm off, so he whipped out a barrel and adjusted them for me.

This is the VP of the KSC, one of the most powerful guys in ski racing. This would be like "Buzzy" fetching you at the airport with a brand new bag of PINGs and a few boxes of Titleists, ready to go hack through a quick 18.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one thing. It was 18:00. It was dark.

A few weeks ago, my friend The Big Guy asked me to opine on an article he read describing the 10 most difficult ski mountains in the world. #1 was The Streif, site of the notorious racer-killing Hahnenkamm downhill, which I described as the "nastiest, gnarliest, baddest-motherfuckerest of them all".

What Hermi6 had cooked up was this: We were going to ski The Hahnenkamm right then and there. At night. Using headlamps. Me, after traveling for 36 hours straight.

But first we had to climb it, using skis with skins. Almost 3000 vertical feet, up one of the steepest ski pistes on the planet. And then we would knock back a few beers, and pound down a shot or two of schnapps at a pub called Hochech-hutte at the Hahnenkammbahn bergstation, which stays open until late for people who want to ride the cable car at night to check out the lights of the valley. What he said, exactly, was this: "Oont zen vee haff some schnacks ooont a couple ufff beee-ah". "Und zen vee schki zeh Hahnenkamm".

Did I mention it was 6 PM and dark?

Did I mention I had just flown through 11 time zones?

Did I mention I'm not very adept at drinking alcohol?

Yes, dear readers, Austrians find their amusement in some interesting ways.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. And I lived to tell it.

Sadness & Fury

2011-01-09T10:22:00.004-05:00

Sitting here immersed in sadness and fury over the shootings in AZ.

Sad because 6 people, including a sitting Federal Judge and the 9 year old granddaughter of former MLB Manager Dallas Green, were casually murdered by yet another gun-wielding nut in a long series of gun-wielding nuts in this country.

Sad because Gabrielle Giffords, a star Congresswoman, was shot through the head in the attack, currently is in intensive care, and by all accounts has been injured to a degree where an eventual return to her previous life would be just short of a miracle.

Giffords, along with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand and Senator Jon Tester, are among the few newer members of Congress who have impressed me.

Furious to read the killer bought his gun "legally", thus tragically highlighting for the umpteenth time that 4 million NRA members continue to hold the other 266 million of us hostage by blocking reasonable gun laws. NRA have managed to block access to gun ownership records through Freedom Of Information Act requests. They have managed to block the ATF from assembling a computerized national gun ownership registry. They have blocked all attempts to limit ownership of assault weapons.

If you look at worldwide gun ownership, no country has even half the gun ownership rate the US does, and the countries approaching half our guns are either war-torn (Yemen and Lebanon, for example) or are tiny countries with citizen militias (Switzerland, Israel). This country does not have, nor does it need, citizen militias. When somebody or something pisses us off, we send in the 82nd Airborne and the USS Enterprise Carrier Group, not a bunch of farmers and teachers carrying their personal Glocks. There is absolutely no reason why an American civilian needs to own a fully- or even a semi-automatic weapon.

I just finished a book entitled The Gun, by CJ Chivers. It is, more or less, a biography of the machine gun. Chivers makes the following points: (1) the Kalashnikov family of weapons are crappy examples of gun technology. They are so inaccurate that they can't be reliably used to hit or kill anything or anybody the gunman couldn't hit with a rock thrown by hand. An AK is only good for hosing down objects in close proximity, not for "hunting" (2) one of the reasons Kalashnikovs are so popular is because they can be operated, cleaned, and maintained by ill-trained people. Child soldiers and terrorists, basically. Why do we need weapons like that, and like the semiautomatic Glock submachine pistol used in the AZ shootings, in the US?

Furious because idiot moron dumb-ass (but popular) Sarah Palin encouraged violence against member of Congress via a map on her web site bearing gun cross-hairs aimed at certain Districts where she wasn't happy with the representatives. She wrote those representatives should be "targeted". One of those Districts was that of Gabrielle Giffords. Palin should be in leg-irons right now for conspiracy to commit murder and incitement of violence.

Furious because the extremely smart, extremely talented, and batshit crazy Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck have their pawprints on this violence as well. Limbaugh for his encouragement of rioting, and Beck for statements like "you can shoot me in the head but there are 10 other who line up" and "there is a coup going on, this is a stealing of America". Unlike Palin, they both were smart enough to make their messages oblique enough to where they can't be charged, but they are nonetheless guilty of being drug-addicted demagogues who have enriched themselves by appealing to the base instincts of disturbed people.

Furious that a lot of the rage people like the above-mentioned, Michelle Malkin and the various dullards on Fox News have incited is due to lies they have concocted about the new health care law.

The health care provisions that have gone into effect as of Jan 1 are:

-> Children age 21-26 can now stay on their parents' policies.

-> Preventative care for seniors included in Medicare.

-> Medicare prescription medication "donut hole" closed.

-> Insurance companies' profits have been capped at 20%. If they earn more than 20% they must give the excess profits back to policyholders.

-> Fast-food restaurants must display a nutritional analysis of their offerings.

The health care law wasn't exactly what I'd hoped it would be (no "public option"), but I fail to see many negatives in the above provisions, and I most certainly fail to see anything worth shooting anybody over.

Top Risks of 2011

2011-01-08T10:53:00.002-05:00

The Eurasia Group, a non-partisan think-tank which specializes in "The Business of Politics", has released its Top 10 Geopolitical Risks For 2011 list.

Very interesting reading.

Notice, dear friends of the Republican and Tea Party persuasion, that the Top 10 does not include "Obama reveals he's really a Muslim and is trying to kill us all through health care legislation" or whatever crazed drivel the Looney Tunes Dumb-Ass Twins (Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin) are hawking, for profit, this week.

For those of us who do business in Europe and generally like Europe and Europeans (except for The Frogs, of course), #2 is particularly ominous. A gaping inherent weakness in the homogeneous structure of The Euro Zone has been revealed, and since the Bankers Gone Wild cartel can essentially short anything (through derivatives) with free money provided by America's own clueless problem children (Bernanke and Geithner), a partial collapse of the Euro in 2011 is a distinct possibility. The most dangerous word in the English Language right now is leverage.

The Brits are looking pretty damn smart for having eschewed The Euro. Britain, Switzerland, and a crippled, staggering Germany/Austria may be the only ones left standing in the rubble of European prosperity if the Euro Zone implodes.

With most currencies on Earth currently competing to make themselves as worthless as possible, there are huge pressures building in the currency markets. These pressures are being multiplied, as usual, by Bankers Gone Wild using free capital from The Federal Reserve. And as we all know (from the Great Tech Bubble of the late 1990s and the Great Housing Bubble of the 2000's), when pressure builds and builds and builds, something....sooner or later....goes BOOM.

Or, as the noted economist Sly Stone once wisely opined, "BOOM lackah lackah lackah BOOM lackah lackah lackah"

Book I Just Finished: The Gun, by CJ Chivers
Book I Just Started: Traders, Guns, And Money, by Satyajit Das

24 Hours of Global Air Traffic

2011-01-08T01:39:00.003-05:00

Wow.

Global Air Traffic in 24 Hours

Cool.

First thing I noticed is how the air traffic leaves Hawai'i in bursts.

100 greatest Movie Insults Of All Time

2011-01-06T01:23:00.001-05:00

100 Greatest Movie Insults Of All Time

The OTHER 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

"Michaela" Replies

2010-12-31T00:26:00.002-05:00

"Michaela" replied to my sarcastic flame. I've got to give her credit for being professional in that respect (although not professional enough to know what a NEXUS card is until I clued her in).

She wrote they already have briefed their TSO's on TWIC, and will soon brief them on NEXUS.

She closed with "together we can only get better".

Insert vitriol-laced rejoinder here.......

The TSA Continues To Suck

2010-12-28T01:14:00.004-05:00

I admit, the TSA collected a few brownie points with me this year. After John Pistole vowed to communicate the elite status of TWIC and NEXUS cardholders down the line to his employees, after TSA brought in the backscatter scanners (not perfect but definitely a step in the right direction), and after the screeners at Kahului Airport all of a sudden started to recognize my Nexus card, they kinda had me a little less pissed off at them.

Then came 12/8/2010.

I had an EARLY flight (0600) that day from SLC to DFW. Alarm went off. Left my digs around 3:45. Got to SLC airport almost two hours in advance, like a good sheeple. Breezed through the car rental return. Nobody in line at American Airlines First Class Check-In, breezed through that too. Got to TSA around 4:25 and.....it was locked. They don't even open until 4:30.

Grrrrrrrrr.

By the time TSA opened, about 10 baristas and miscellaneous janitors were in the service line, and the one TSA agent checking IDs of course sent them all through before any (paying) passengers. I stood there. Finally the TSA chick waved at me, I stepped forward, and . . . . she wouldn't accept my Nexus card. Had no farking idea what a Nexus card was - despite the fact that it's clearly listed on TSA's own check-in information page. Despite the fact that her boss's boss's boss's boss's boss wants all TSA agents to know what the fark it is. Despite the fact that it's 4:45 AM and we're in Salt Lake City.

After unzipping my rollaboard, taking out my travel documents, showing her my passport with a grumble, zipping everything back up, shuffling through the barefoot kabuki dance, putting my belt back on, and shuffling down to my gate, I had about 45 minutes to kill and a good nerd-rage going. So I whipped out my phone, browsed to the FEEDBACK section of the TSA web site, and punched out a brief flame:

Just came thru TSA chkpt @ SLC Wed Dec 8 @ 4:35 AM. the agent would not accept my NEXUS card as ID, had never heard of NEXUS, had no idea what it was.

It is EXTREMELY frustrating that your employees CONTINUE TO WALLOW IN ABJECT IGNORANCE. Mr Pistole announced almost a year ago he was launching an education campaign to inform ALL TSA airport agents that the NEXUS pass is a legal form of ID and is, in fact, a much higher level of secure ID than a passport. recognition has improved, but this continued incompetence is simply unacceptable.

EDUCATE YOUR AGENTS as to WHAT a NEXUS Card IS AND WHAT IT MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!.

This morning, 3 weeks later, I actually got a canned reply from TSA:

Thank you for your e-mail regarding identification (ID) requirements at the security screening checkpoint. Specifically, you felt that the ID you presented should have been accepted...........

We regret you found your screening experiences unsatisfactory............

We are unable to determine why the Transportation Security Officer (TSO) did not accept the ID you presented at the screening checkpoint.

Yeah, Sherlock. I regret it too. I'm shocked you couldn't figure out why your mouth-breathing village idiot doesn't read TSA's own web site.

Furthermore, we have forwarded a copy of your email to the Customer Service Manager at SLC airport for review. The Customer Service Manager is responsible for ensuring that the TSO workforce adheres to TSA principles for professional and courteous customer service.

A few hours later, I was dumbstruck to receive a personal e-mail from a real person who is, apparently, a Customer Service Manager for TSA at SLC. Let's call her Michaela. Michaela wrote that she also had never heard of a Nexus card, but would be most interested to hear back from me exactly what it is.

WTF? You know, I've watched my share of episodes of Miami Vice, of Miami CSI, of SVU, and I never have seen, nor heard of, a law enforcement officer asking a suspect to explain the law to her.

I wrote back. First I asked her if she was kidding. Then I sent her a few links - one to Pistole's blog post on the TSA web site, in which he promised to educate all TSA agents nationwide about TSA/DHS's own Trusted Traveler programs. Another link to the TSA web site, which clearly lists the following as acceptable forms of ID:

DHS "Trusted Traveler" cards (NEXUS, SENTRI, FAST)

I sent Michaela a link to a thread on FlyerTalk.com containing posts from lots of people, like me, flaming the TSA for not knowing anything about their own "Trusted Traveler" programs.

Then, after building up a good head of steam, I brought on my fastball, right down the center of the plate:

"So.....let me summarize. I have voluntarily submitted to DHS my retinal scan, and my fingerprints. I have been voluntarily investigated by DHS twice, they have approved me for their most elite travel status programs twice. I have invested significant time and a little bit of money filling out forms, applying to DHS for these trusted traveler programs, and going to interviews. I have been interviewed and verified by DHS agents at Honolulu and Edmonton Airports. I traveled outside of the US nine times in 2010; each time I returned, my Nexus or Global Entry biometrics allowed me to pass through Customs with nothing more than a cursory glance from a United States Customs agent. And YOUR DHS-employed TSA AGENT would NOT accept my DHS-ISSUED NEXUS ID FOR IDENTIFICATION at SLC for a DOMESTIC FLIGHT?????????????????????? She wants to see A DRIVER'S LICENSE, one of the most easily-forged pieces of ID on the planet? A drivers license issued by a STATE (not The Feds), a document half the teenagers in America buy counterfeited on the internet SO THEY CAN PURCHASE BEER?

Can you please tell me why I am explaining this to a DHS supervisor?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Hey, readers, it's the holidays.

I've got some time on my hands.

Respectfully,

Captain Obvious

Thoughts on Christmas

2010-12-25T20:53:00.003-05:00

I. Lakers got their asses kicked by the Miami Heat on Christmas Day. At LA. 96-80, but it wasn't even that close. Love it. The only thing better than watching the Lakers lose is watching them lose at home, in a Nationally-televised game, in a manner so crushing and embarrassing that their horrid "fans" (worst in the NBA) head for the exits with 5 minutes to go without even bothering to boo their own team (as they typically do)

Thank you, Santa.

To me, the coolest celebrity in LA is Charlize Theron, not because of her infinite gorgeousness but, rather, because she's a Clippers fan. I don't see anybody else from Hollywood watching my favorite NBA team, The Clippers, who are a very exiting team but have one of the worst records in the NBA. All the rest want to be seen at Lakers games.

II. I've had about 100,000 miles in my United (aka "Untied") FF account for 5 or 6 years now, but I rarely fly United. Didn't really want to lose the miles, so I got a United Mastercard and once a year I charge a Slurpee or something on the card so that United can't take back my miles. This year I checked my account and I noticed United has a pretty good miles-for-goods shopping web site. I looked around for a while and spent about 25,000 on a new toy, an Olympus Sp-800UZ digital camera.

Why that one?

1. 30x zoom. My current digital camera only has maybe 4x zoom, which is frequently inadequate because usually I'm stuck up in a timing tower or batcave somewhere, and I take a lot of photos at full zoom. In addition, I work in a lot of really huge venues (Kitzbuhel, for example) where 4x zoom just doesn't cut it. One of the coolest things about the downhill course at Kitzbuhel is the finish area is one of the best natural amphitheatres in sports. There are 4 or 5 places to die within sight of the 80,000-odd fans in the finish area.

2. It was out of the question to buy anything made by Nikon, since their Ashton Kutcher adverts are SO fucking annoying.

Well, sports fans.....when they say this thing zooms, they mean IT ZOOMS. WOW.

No Zoom:
About 25% Zoom:
About 75%

Max zoom:
The camera is the size of about 3 hockey pucks because the lens is so big, so it's not one of those cigarette-pack form factors you can stick in your coat and forget about it.

But I like.

Restoring Sanity To Airport Security?

2010-12-24T06:47:00.002-05:00

http://www.salon.com/technology/ask_the_pilot/2010/12/21/airport_security_checks/index.html

To anybody who flies more than 4 times a year, I highly recommend Patrick Smith's column Ask The Pilot on Salon.com.

This new IATA plan Smith describes sounds great to me. As the owner of not one but two biometric passports (retinal scan for Nexus and fingerprints for Global Entry), I think the IATA plan is just peachy. But the key question, of course, is the one Smith asks in the article's subtitle:

Will the TSA bullies go for it?

Two Biggest Whores in Modern Society

2010-12-22T06:22:00.003-05:00

I'm currently thinking the two biggest whores in US society are currently most organized religions ("tithe me a piece of your income and we'll allow you to feel good about yourself") and the current leadership of the Republican Party ("we don't care what's good for the US, we only care about what's good for The Republican Party").

If you want proof about the Republicans, simply watch Fox News for 5 minutes, read anything Mitch McConnell, Eric Cantor, or John Boehner have ever said in their entire political lives, or even check out C-SPAN (the total moral bankruptcy of the Republican leadership is so obvious that even a complete idiot doesn't need Sean Hannity or Glen Beck to explain it to him/her). For proof about the Catholic / Scientologist / whatever Church, well.....

I Love MegaCuts

2010-12-16T14:17:00.004-05:00

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This

Don Draper does "WHAT?"

Get Out of There!

It's Gonna Blow!

No!

Let It Not Be Said That the United States Has Nothing Useful To Export.....

2010-12-10T15:13:00.002-05:00

Hooters. Tokyo.

LINK

I would pay significant money to see the faces of these girls when my gaijin friend The Big Guy walks in.

Fucking Frogs, chapter 9,456,213,709,101

2010-12-06T08:45:00.007-05:00

Of course, the Frogs' own failure to recognize a design flaw in a pattern of many dozen similar tire blowouts was not recognized in this verdict. Instead, they single out an hourly-wage welder (who is NOT French) as the predominantly guilty party.

link <-link

'Metzner swiftly said the US airline [Continental] would appeal the verdict, slamming a ruling that "only protects French interests".

Ya THINK?

Absurd, xenophobic, typical Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys.

Remember That Old Expression "Up To Your Ass In Alligators"?

2010-12-03T14:48:00.003-05:00

After a day at IDS in JAX discussing AKI stuff, I took Tomas to The Alligator Farm in St Augustine. I was, almost literally, up to my ass in alligators.

Tomas is one of those rare European characters who actually enjoys & appreciates US kitsch, US culture, and American humour. He loved The Alligator Farm. A typical Euro (especially a frog) would have sniffed something snarky like "well, WE have The Louvre and the Vienna Opera House". Afterwards we watched the return of LeBron to Cleveland (Heat vs Cavaliers) on an 80-inch TV at my friend's house. THAT's an American day of leisure: The Alligator farm, an NBA game, and a couple of big meals.

Hadn't been to the IDS mothership in about 10 years. Saw all kinds of familiar shady characters: Slaw, Benjy, Dingo, Leroy, Marco (why doesn't Marco have a nickname?), Croc, Mitch, Boris, Gars. Unfortunately, several of the shadiest of the shady were out of town - Cockroach, The Big Guy, and SpongeMarkSquareHands. Also had dinner w/Leroy and Dommie Sue at Slider's in Neptune Beach, which was really fun (tasty too).

Good thing It Wasn't A Jack Daniels Distillery

2010-11-30T17:19:00.003-05:00

This one's for you, Trampass:

link

You never know what your bees are going to stick their little stingers into.

EARTHQUAKE!

2010-11-24T02:14:00.002-05:00

Big honker of an earthquake here, around midnight Eastern time. 4.6 on the Richter scale. Must have lasted 20 seconds or so. Then an aftershock about 15 minutes later.

Wheeeeee!

I Don't Like The TSA

2010-11-18T11:26:00.002-05:00

LINK

Catchy tune. And the subject, of course, is poignant.

I do not, however, agree with these guys:

LINK

One of the most infuriating things (in my estimation) about the whole ridiculous TSA Barefoot Kabuki Dance is that it just takes so fucking long. In this age of science and technology, in which iPhones and Android and noise-canceling Bluetooth headsets can literally change our lives (for the better) overnight, I simply can't believe that Google or Apple or Dean Kamen can't invent a machine which we can walk through, fully clothed, with our laptops in our rollaboards, which will accomplish "security". These new "porno-scanners" may not be perfect, but to me they're a step in right direction, toward what I described in my previous sentence. I really don't give a shit if some Wackenhut-reject knuckle-dragging moron can see my junk or the roll of fat around my beltline. I just want to get through their hoops as quickly as possible and get to the Admiral's Club.

When leaving Hawaii for the mainland, you are scanned TWICE at the airport for FRUIT. I shit you not. You are scanned three times - once by the TSA and twice by THE FDA. I guess Osama must be sitting in his filthy, stinky cave in the mountains of Pakistan plotting to blow up LAX with an orange. It's way more infuriating than the TSA bullshit.

Both are carbuncles on the butt cheek of our society.

You Look Like Shit

2010-11-13T11:39:00.001-05:00

Guaranteed. This will be the funniest thing you see all day.

link

Double Rainbow

2010-11-04T15:34:00.003-04:00

Time: Thursday morning.
Place: My office window.
This is one seriously vivid-ass rainbow.

Actually it's a double rainbow.
We regularly see even triple rainbows around here. The absolute coolest is when you get a double MOONbow. The air is so clear here, and hence the moon is so bright, rainbows are visible at night.

Hangin' Wit Da Monk Seals

2010-11-02T20:59:00.003-04:00

What a spectacular day here today. Last night, what NOAA calls an "Extra-Large-To-Giant" swell hit the Hawaiian Islands. So big that the North Shore was completely closed out, "Condition Red". Unsurfable, although those with the ability and equipment could tow in.

The waves were so huge that they wrapped completely around the island to Kihei, so I threw my board on the car, drove over to a spot called Guard Rails near Lahaina, and rode glassy little head-high waves all morning. Blue sky, glassy waves, and a couple of big fat lazy Monk seals dozing in the sun on the beach. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Monk seals are like housecats. They eat and they sleep, that's about it. They even have whiskers like housecats.

I topped off a great surf session by climbing into my hammock, making like a Monk seal, and dozing most of the afternoon away. A few more days like this one and I just may recover from 3 weeks without sleep at the World Equestrian Games.

From Pat Caldwell's O'ahu Surf Forecast:

The NNW component was generated by fetch starting late last Friday over 1200 nm long and 900 nm wide stretching from near Kamchatka to about 40°N latitude NNW of Hawaii, or about 1000 nm out, by mid Sunday. The winds in the 325-345 degree band ranged from gales to storm-force, with the strongest winds toward the eastern side of the Hawaii swell window. The jason altimeter on Sunday validated wave model expectations of seas over 40 feet in the patch aimed NE of Hawaii. For seas pointed toward Hawaii, heights were to 30 feet in an area about 1000 nm away late Sunday. Long period swell of 14-19 seconds from this source is expected to fill in locally Monday night, peak on Tuesday, and slowly drop on Wednesday.

PGA Grand Slam of Golf

2010-10-19T18:02:00.004-04:00

Greetings from the PGA Grand Slam of Golf, Port Royal Golf Course, Southampton, Bermuda.

Enjoy the view.

The Whale Bay Battery is adjacent to the 15th Fairway. Originally built in the early 1600's, refurbished for modern guns in 1870.
Amongst the 4 Majors champions, Oosthuizen and Mickelsen bailed, so David Toms and Ernie Els are filling in. Nice gig to sub, as you're guaranteed $200K just to show.

The Rolex clocks are the same type as the ones used at the World Equestrian Games. NOTHING ELSE, however, is similar to ANYTHING in Kentucky.
Purdy.

Tomorrow the tee times have been moved up from 10:30 to 9:00, as bad weather is expected in the afternoon. After the first day, David Toms leads Els by one stroke.

Sleepblogging

2010-10-15T13:44:00.003-04:00

Since my last post I've returned from the World Equestrian Games, slept about 15 hours a day for 4 days (being careful to stay on Eastern Time), and now in a few hours I'm out the door to the PGA Grand Slam of Golf in Bermuda.

Will post a few pikkies from the gorgeous Port Royal Golf Course in Southampton when I get a chance.

The only bummer about this trip is I change planes at DFW before Smoothie King opens. :=(

Funny how these gigs have social continuity (i.e. the same cast of characters). Johnny P and John R from Bexel occupied the office right next to mine at WEG; they packed up and headed to BDA directly from Lexington. I came home for a few days and will be working right alongside them on Saturday. Different sport, different country, different network, same week. Fortunately, those two particular fellas are great guys and super-talented at what they do, so working with them again in Southampton is something to look forward to.

HD World

2010-10-05T12:03:00.003-04:00

I apologize, loyal readers, for the dearth of material from the World Equestrian Games. I have been working around the clock, and have been lucky to get a few hours of sleep each night.

This morning I got here before 6 and none of the trucks were open, so I trotted up to the top of Rolex Stadium and snapped a few pre-dawn photos of my world:

Carr-Hughes / NBC compound.
Who's who in the zoo.
Don't forget The Bee!
Office space.

And the end result is.......this.

FEI HONORS THE SKUNK!

2010-10-04T13:38:00.002-04:00

Jump #3 in the opening Speed Class at the World Equestrian Games...

FEI HONORS THE SKUNK.

I guess it would be more correct to write "FEI honors the skunk". It is not a case of "FEI honors The Skunk". In other words, nobody outside of the FEI TV office knows me from Ted Koppel.

Day One In The Barn at World Equestrian Games

2010-09-26T07:02:00.005-04:00

1st reining competition and the Opening Ceremonies are done. Today it's 7 AM and there are already two venues going.

One of CBS's NFL trucks, Super-Shooter 10

That CBS logo is already hidden under tape.

These days, a full HD production truck is actually two double-blowout trucks connected by a power bus and a data bus.
This is Super-B, which is essentially an edit suite here.

Monument to Rolex

2010-09-19T11:49:00.003-04:00

Rolex isn't just a sponsor here...they are an object of worship. Here is the altar, all 8,000 lbs of it.

Does this horse have brass balls?

Just a thought. I'll check and get back to you.

BANDWIDTH, Anyone?

2010-09-19T10:59:00.008-04:00

Looks like the Scoring & Timing network has plenty of bandwidth!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

T3 speed on the download side (34 Megs)

T2 speed on the upload side (6 Megs)

Just like Alpine Ski World Cup @ Lake Louise! (Not)

World Equestrian Games

2010-09-17T03:04:00.002-04:00

After 2 1/2 years of preparation, it's finally here.

A lot of work ahead, but I've got my own office. With a T3 line! Wheeeeeeeee!

TSA - Could it Be That John Pistole Is Actually Doing His Job?

2010-09-14T21:50:00.005-04:00

With a few minutes to kill before driving to the airport today, I happened to surf onto the TSA blog, and saw the following comments from John Pistole, the head of the TSA:

"There seems to be a trend of TSO’s not recognizing TWIC cards at our checkpoints. As a result of your feedback, I will ensure that TSA officers receive the necessary refresher training to recognize TWIC cards and other government-issued ID's (Including NEXUS cards) brought to the checkpoint.

Thank you for raising this issue so we can improve our security screening process moving forward."

My bullshit detector went off like a nuclear bomb, given my experiences trying to use my Nexus card as ID at Kahului airport (OGG - the land that time forgot).

Pistole's comments were dated 8/20 (about three weeks ago).

As a refresher to my loyal readers, a Nexus card is several security levels above a passport. Obtaining one requires first getting a passport, then applying for Nexus status, agreeing to have your background investigated by the Feds, attending a personal interview with a TSA investigator, getting your retinas scanned, and undergoing a proctological exam.

Just kidding about the last part.

I haven't even attempted to use my Nexus card at OGG all summer, as the highly-trained TSA numbskulls are so clueless that they seldom even know what it is - even though it's 5 levels above a passport and about 25 levels above a drivers license - and when they do, they won't accept it anyway. Even with a printout of the TSA list of qualifying IDs, they never once have accepted it as my ID.

So, arriving at OGG plenty early, with no line whatsoever at TSA, I whipped out my Nexus card.

First TSA Agent: "Oh cool, a Nexus card. Hey Joe, check this out, a Nexus card".

Joe: "Hmmm, wow. I've never seen one either".

Both examine it carefully, front and back.

First guy, to Joe (who's apparently a supervisor): "The scan code is on the back, right?"

Joe: "Yes, same code as his passport".

First guy puts it under his light.

First guy, handing it back to me: "Very cool. Have a nice flight".

Me: "Thanks. That card is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Takes me a maximum of 15 seconds to get through Customs, no matter how long the line is".

First guy: "Nice."

So...amazingly....astoundingly....it appears that John Pistole, head of the TSA, is actually doing his job. Given my faith in the US Government, it could have been a fluke. But perhaps not.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

They're Packin'm in At Spruce Meadows

2010-09-12T04:52:00.004-04:00

Nations Cup day. What....are they giving away free beer? The place is packed.

Not one empty seat in this grandstand.

Nor in this one.
Also Holland day. Tulips and clogs.

The Americans won! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Holland: Close but no cigar.
Look at that fabulous video wall interface. Who is the ingenious programmer who came up with that? Oh yeah, that would be....me.
Big flags on the video wall for the Nations Cup. Big sponsor logo (BMO) too.

It's Raining..... It's Pouring..... And Q.E.D, The Old Man....

2010-09-08T13:26:00.004-04:00

.....the old man must be in Calgary for The Masters at Spruce Meadows.

Soggy at Spruce.

Must be The Masters - says so right on top of the grandstand.

One good thing about rain: the gloomy skies make the video walls look like they're a few billion candlepower.
Foul weather gear.

No Bullseye

2010-09-03T20:08:00.001-04:00

Damn. If any place on this planet deserves to be flattened by a natural disaster, it's the US Open. But not this year.

A few rain delays is all they got out of Earl.

Will Earl Hit The Bullseye At The US Open?

2010-09-01T09:00:00.004-04:00

Should be an interesting weekend at the US Open, with Hurricane Earl bearing down on Long Island.

On one hand, I feel sorry for my good friends at That Sports Technology Company From Jacksonville, because bad weather only makes a terrible event even worse. WAY worse. Adding insult to injury is the fact that the roof of The Batcave leaks - directly onto my former desk.

A bad-weather shout-out to Lloyd, Trampass, Dingo, Cockroach, and all the other poor bastards marooned in Hell. Break out the trash cans, boys!

On the other hand, I do SO enjoy reading about USTA officials squirming and ahem-ing and haw-ing at those contentious, weather-delay press conferences. Trying to explain how they managed to spend $270 million of USTA members' money on a poorly designed, poorly built, leaky stadium. In the midst of a blighted, violent slum. Which was obsolete before it was finished. And which remains the only Grand Slam tournament without a retractable roof (Melbourne has TWO, Wimbledon's Centre Court has one, Roland Garros' roof will be ready in 2011).

Answering to a bored, pissed-off, stir-crazy press corp is the yearly cross the USTA must bear for amazingly bad decision-making and incompetence.

The middle weekend is, in relative terms, the best time for a hurricane to hit The Open. If the weather has been decent for the first 4 or 5 days, the schedule collapses from 16 to 10 courts. The Juniors can wait, or they can always be farmed out to local indoor facilities. But the ticketholders get screwed. Let's say you flew in to NY from (wherever) for Labor Day Weekend to enjoy some tennis. Odds are you'll get back on the plane without ever having seen a ball struck, with a "rain check" for a Monday or Tuesday session you'll never attend. If this was the Australian Open in Melbourne (by far the best tennis tournament in the world), you'd have gotten a belly full of tennis at Rod Laver Arena and Hisense Arena, both of which have retractable roofs.

Labor Day weekend tix to the US Open are the hottest tickets in NY. This year, it looks like they may be worthless. And the USTA has nobody to blame other than themselves.

It's All Taking Shape at TBird

2010-08-18T00:31:00.002-04:00

Notice the integration of video and timing data. The cycling video is an AVI from Solvang TT at the Tour of California last year.

A rack mount holds all the guts.

This studly young feller is the boss of showjumping operations at Thunderbird

The "real" mounting hardware won't be here until tomorrow, so for now the display is strapped to a flatbed.

Christmas in August. And it's 92 degrees. In Vancouver.

2010-08-17T11:13:00.004-04:00

Overseeing delivery & installation of the new Signco-EDS video wall to Thunderbird Show Park in Langley, BC.

Instead of cold & drizzling, there's not a cloud in the sky and it's 92 degrees. In Vancouver?

Their old Daktronics Galaxy is looking like the middle-aged wife who's just been dumped for the hot blonde grad student.

Thunderbird has it's Grand Prix weekend next week, so this is all happening just in time.

I love Nexus. I LOVE Nexus. I LOVE NEXUS!!!!!

2010-08-16T02:11:00.003-04:00

Flew Seattle - Vancouver today on a Horizon Air Bombardier Q400 turbo-prop. Seating capacity : 76. At least 1/3 empty.

Unfortunately, we arrived YVR just after a China Air 747 and another big honkin' tin can from somewhere else. Customs wasn't exactly jammed to capacity, but the line stretched three lengths of the corral.

I started a stopwatch when I got within sight of Customs. I didn't check any bags, so I was going for a New World Record.

1. Bypass the line, go straight to the Nexus kiosks.

2. Stick my face in the Nexus kiosk super-shooter.

3. Poke at the touchscreen a couple of times.

4. Walk about 250 meters, past baggage claim, directly to the exit.

5. Hand my declaration and NEXUS receipt to Dudley DooRight.

6. Out the doors, into Canada. Bienvenue a Canada!

Elapsed time: 2 minutes, 41 seconds.

And that's why I love Nexus. I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I LOVE NEXUS!

I only wish a Nexus-like program was available from TSA. In this age of science & technology, where things like iPhones and Skype and Paypal change our lives overnight, I am infuriated that we still have to take our shoes off, take our laptops out of our roll-aboards, and do the TSA Barefoot Kabuki Dance in front of hourly workers who I wouldn't hire to empty my trash can.

And a huge, major-league FUCK YOU to the ACLU and the other lefties who are suing to halt the use of the new TSA full-body scanners. I would get on the damn plane stark naked if it would just speed things up and make the process scientific, effective, and objective.