Saturday, February 13, 2010

News Flash: Honolulu Announces Bid For Winter Olympics 2018

Honolulu, February 13, 2010 (Reuters). In a joint press conference held today at the Iolani Palace near Waikiki Beach in Honolulu, Hawai'i Governor Linda Lingle and Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann announced Honolulu's bid for the 2018 Winter Olympics.

"After watching the Opening Ceremonies from Vancouver and reading accounts in the media of conditions at the ski venues at Cypress & Whistler" stated Hanenmann, "we realized that having an actual winter has ceased to be a requirement for hosting the Olympic Winter Games. Therefore we decided that now is the time for the State of Hawai'i, including the City of Honolulu and it's neighbor islands, to throw our hats into the ring to serve as host."

Lingle continued "Currently, as the 2010 Winter Games open in Vancouver, the snow is deeper and the temperatures 15 degrees (7 degrees Celsius) colder at our ski venue atop the Mauna Kea volcano, on The Big Island, than at Whistler. It's more than 20 degrees (10 Celsius) colder over in Hawai'i County than at Cypress Mountain, venue for the snowboarding and freestyle events. Therefore, we have every confidence that we can hold the best winter Olympics ever here in the Hawai'ian Islands."

The pair then introduced William P. Kenoi, Mayor of Hawai'i County, which encompasses Hawai'i's largest island, including the cities of Hilo and Kailua-Kona. Kenoi spoke live via satellite from a helicopter hovering above The Gemini Dome Observatory atop the 14,000 foot summit of the extinct Mauna Kea volcano. Kenoi aimed a camera out the cargo door of the hovering helicopter, panning it around at the snow-covered vista encompassing the former World Cup snowboard venue just below the observatory.

"Brrrrrrrrrrrr! Check it out dudes!" shouted Kenoi. "Surf's up for 2018!". Kenoi, belying his 79 years of age, dressed in a PeptoBismol-colored ski jacket with goggles and wearing a full set of snowboard gear, launched himself out of the helicopter's door, landed on the snow below, and proceeded to carve a series of big mountain turns in the fresh powder while the cameras rolled. He finished with a McTwist 720 Beebop-To-Faceplant off an adjoining volcanic ridge.

Hanemann then described some of the major venues for 2018.

"Ice skating, hockey, and all the indoor stadium sports will be played at Blaisdell Arena next to world-famous Waikiki Beach". He said. "Speed skating, curling, and a practice ice surface will be built next to the Aloha Bowl (site of NFL's 'Pro Bowl'). The main alpine venue will of course be the 14,000-foot summit of Mauna Kea, with training held at nearby Mauna Loa, which also reaches 14,000 feet. And finally, I'm proud to announce our showcase for The Games. For the first time in Olympic history, the slalom and the Super-Combined events from the alpine discipline will be held at an indoor ski hill to be built in Kapiolani Park, across from the Duke Kahanomoku War Memorial Pool. Our indoor ski venue will be cooled through geothermal energy piped over from the constantly-erupting Kilauea volcano on the South end of The Big Island and from wind energy harnessed from above Ma'alea Harbor over on the Valley Island of Maui."

Lingle and Hanemann closed the press conference by hanging traditional Hawai'ian leis around ech others' necks and flashing the "shaka" for photographers and assembled media.


Petra said...

Brill!! I'll have a dose of that, whatever it is ... Who needs Annecy or Munich or PyeongChang anyway. If Honolulu ;-) wins the Olymipic bid, just watch out for the indomitable genius of Austrian female curling.

GB said...

James - I'm enjoying reading your comments on the Olympics. Hope you're doing well. Keep up the ramblings!