I Don't Like The TSA

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Catchy tune. And the subject, of course, is poignant.

I do not, however, agree with these guys:

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One of the most infuriating things (in my estimation) about the whole ridiculous TSA Barefoot Kabuki Dance is that it just takes so fucking long. In this age of science and technology, in which iPhones and Android and noise-canceling Bluetooth headsets can literally change our lives (for the better) overnight, I simply can't believe that Google or Apple or Dean Kamen can't invent a machine which we can walk through, fully clothed, with our laptops in our rollaboards, which will accomplish "security". These new "porno-scanners" may not be perfect, but to me they're a step in right direction, toward what I described in my previous sentence. I really don't give a shit if some Wackenhut-reject knuckle-dragging moron can see my junk or the roll of fat around my beltline. I just want to get through their hoops as quickly as possible and get to the Admiral's Club.

When leaving Hawaii for the mainland, you are scanned TWICE at the airport for FRUIT. I shit you not. You are scanned three times - once by the TSA and twice by THE FDA. I guess Osama must be sitting in his filthy, stinky cave in the mountains of Pakistan plotting to blow up LAX with an orange. It's way more infuriating than the TSA bullshit.

Both are carbuncles on the butt cheek of our society.

You Look Like Shit

Guaranteed. This will be the funniest thing you see all day.

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Double Rainbow

Time: Thursday morning.
Place: My office window.
This is one seriously vivid-ass rainbow.

Actually it's a double rainbow.
We regularly see even triple rainbows around here. The absolute coolest is when you get a double MOONbow. The air is so clear here, and hence the moon is so bright, rainbows are visible at night.

Hangin' Wit Da Monk Seals

What a spectacular day here today. Last night, what NOAA calls an "Extra-Large-To-Giant" swell hit the Hawaiian Islands. So big that the North Shore was completely closed out, "Condition Red". Unsurfable, although those with the ability and equipment could tow in.

The waves were so huge that they wrapped completely around the island to Kihei, so I threw my board on the car, drove over to a spot called Guard Rails near Lahaina, and rode glassy little head-high waves all morning. Blue sky, glassy waves, and a couple of big fat lazy Monk seals dozing in the sun on the beach. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.




Monk seals are like housecats. They eat and they sleep, that's about it. They even have whiskers like housecats.

I topped off a great surf session by climbing into my hammock, making like a Monk seal, and dozing most of the afternoon away. A few more days like this one and I just may recover from 3 weeks without sleep at the World Equestrian Games.

From Pat Caldwell's O'ahu Surf Forecast:

The NNW component was generated by fetch starting late last Friday over 1200 nm long and 900 nm wide stretching from near Kamchatka to about 40°N latitude NNW of Hawaii, or about 1000 nm out, by mid Sunday. The winds in the 325-345 degree band ranged from gales to storm-force, with the strongest winds toward the eastern side of the Hawaii swell window. The jason altimeter on Sunday validated wave model expectations of seas over 40 feet in the patch aimed NE of Hawaii. For seas pointed toward Hawaii, heights were to 30 feet in an area about 1000 nm away late Sunday. Long period swell of 14-19 seconds from this source is expected to fill in locally Monday night, peak on Tuesday, and slowly drop on Wednesday.

PGA Grand Slam of Golf

Greetings from the PGA Grand Slam of Golf, Port Royal Golf Course, Southampton, Bermuda.

Enjoy the view.

The Whale Bay Battery is adjacent to the 15th Fairway. Originally built in the early 1600's, refurbished for modern guns in 1870.
Amongst the 4 Majors champions, Oosthuizen and Mickelsen bailed, so David Toms and Ernie Els are filling in. Nice gig to sub, as you're guaranteed $200K just to show.


The Rolex clocks are the same type as the ones used at the World Equestrian Games. NOTHING ELSE, however, is similar to ANYTHING in Kentucky.
Purdy.

Tomorrow the tee times have been moved up from 10:30 to 9:00, as bad weather is expected in the afternoon. After the first day, David Toms leads Els by one stroke.

Sleepblogging

Since my last post I've returned from the World Equestrian Games, slept about 15 hours a day for 4 days (being careful to stay on Eastern Time), and now in a few hours I'm out the door to the PGA Grand Slam of Golf in Bermuda.

Will post a few pikkies from the gorgeous Port Royal Golf Course in Southampton when I get a chance.

The only bummer about this trip is I change planes at DFW before Smoothie King opens. :=(

Funny how these gigs have social continuity (i.e. the same cast of characters). Johnny P and John R from Bexel occupied the office right next to mine at WEG; they packed up and headed to BDA directly from Lexington. I came home for a few days and will be working right alongside them on Saturday. Different sport, different country, different network, same week. Fortunately, those two particular fellas are great guys and super-talented at what they do, so working with them again in Southampton is something to look forward to.

HD World

I apologize, loyal readers, for the dearth of material from the World Equestrian Games. I have been working around the clock, and have been lucky to get a few hours of sleep each night.

This morning I got here before 6 and none of the trucks were open, so I trotted up to the top of Rolex Stadium and snapped a few pre-dawn photos of my world:

Carr-Hughes / NBC compound.
Who's who in the zoo.
Don't forget The Bee!
Office space.

And the end result is.......this.

FEI HONORS THE SKUNK!

Jump #3 in the opening Speed Class at the World Equestrian Games...


FEI HONORS THE SKUNK.


I guess it would be more correct to write "FEI honors the skunk". It is not a case of "FEI honors The Skunk". In other words, nobody outside of the FEI TV office knows me from Ted Koppel.

Day One In The Barn at World Equestrian Games

1st reining competition and the Opening Ceremonies are done. Today it's 7 AM and there are already two venues going.

One of CBS's NFL trucks, Super-Shooter 10

That CBS logo is already hidden under tape.

These days, a full HD production truck is actually two double-blowout trucks connected by a power bus and a data bus.
This is Super-B, which is essentially an edit suite here.

Monument to Rolex

Rolex isn't just a sponsor here...they are an object of worship. Here is the altar, all 8,000 lbs of it.




Does this horse have brass balls?

Just a thought. I'll check and get back to you.

BANDWIDTH, Anyone?

Looks like the Scoring & Timing network has plenty of bandwidth!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

T3 speed on the download side (34 Megs)

T2 speed on the upload side (6 Megs)

Just like Alpine Ski World Cup @ Lake Louise! (Not)

World Equestrian Games

After 2 1/2 years of preparation, it's finally here.

A lot of work ahead, but I've got my own office. With a T3 line! Wheeeeeeeee!

TSA - Could it Be That John Pistole Is Actually Doing His Job?

With a few minutes to kill before driving to the airport today, I happened to surf onto the TSA blog, and saw the following comments from John Pistole, the head of the TSA:

"There seems to be a trend of TSO’s not recognizing TWIC cards at our checkpoints. As a result of your feedback, I will ensure that TSA officers receive the necessary refresher training to recognize TWIC cards and other government-issued ID's (Including NEXUS cards) brought to the checkpoint.

Thank you for raising this issue so we can improve our security screening process moving forward."

My bullshit detector went off like a nuclear bomb, given my experiences trying to use my Nexus card as ID at Kahului airport (OGG - the land that time forgot).

Pistole's comments were dated 8/20 (about three weeks ago).

As a refresher to my loyal readers, a Nexus card is several security levels above a passport. Obtaining one requires first getting a passport, then applying for Nexus status, agreeing to have your background investigated by the Feds, attending a personal interview with a TSA investigator, getting your retinas scanned, and undergoing a proctological exam.

Just kidding about the last part.

I haven't even attempted to use my Nexus card at OGG all summer, as the highly-trained TSA numbskulls are so clueless that they seldom even know what it is - even though it's 5 levels above a passport and about 25 levels above a drivers license - and when they do, they won't accept it anyway. Even with a printout of the TSA list of qualifying IDs, they never once have accepted it as my ID.

So, arriving at OGG plenty early, with no line whatsoever at TSA, I whipped out my Nexus card.

First TSA Agent: "Oh cool, a Nexus card. Hey Joe, check this out, a Nexus card".

Joe: "Hmmm, wow. I've never seen one either".

Both examine it carefully, front and back.

First guy, to Joe (who's apparently a supervisor): "The scan code is on the back, right?"

Joe: "Yes, same code as his passport".

First guy puts it under his light.

First guy, handing it back to me: "Very cool. Have a nice flight".

Me: "Thanks. That card is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Takes me a maximum of 15 seconds to get through Customs, no matter how long the line is".

First guy: "Nice."

So...amazingly....astoundingly....it appears that John Pistole, head of the TSA, is actually doing his job. Given my faith in the US Government, it could have been a fluke. But perhaps not.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

They're Packin'm in At Spruce Meadows

Nations Cup day. What....are they giving away free beer? The place is packed.

Not one empty seat in this grandstand.

Nor in this one.
Also Holland day. Tulips and clogs.

The Americans won! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Holland: Close but no cigar.
Look at that fabulous video wall interface. Who is the ingenious programmer who came up with that? Oh yeah, that would be....me.
Big flags on the video wall for the Nations Cup. Big sponsor logo (BMO) too.

It's Raining..... It's Pouring..... And Q.E.D, The Old Man....

.....the old man must be in Calgary for The Masters at Spruce Meadows.


Soggy at Spruce.


Must be The Masters - says so right on top of the grandstand.

One good thing about rain: the gloomy skies make the video walls look like they're a few billion candlepower.
Foul weather gear.

No Bullseye

Damn. If any place on this planet deserves to be flattened by a natural disaster, it's the US Open. But not this year.

A few rain delays is all they got out of Earl.

Will Earl Hit The Bullseye At The US Open?

Should be an interesting weekend at the US Open, with Hurricane Earl bearing down on Long Island.

On one hand, I feel sorry for my good friends at That Sports Technology Company From Jacksonville, because bad weather only makes a terrible event even worse. WAY worse. Adding insult to injury is the fact that the roof of The Batcave leaks - directly onto my former desk.

A bad-weather shout-out to Lloyd, Trampass, Dingo, Cockroach, and all the other poor bastards marooned in Hell. Break out the trash cans, boys!

On the other hand, I do SO enjoy reading about USTA officials squirming and ahem-ing and haw-ing at those contentious, weather-delay press conferences. Trying to explain how they managed to spend $270 million of USTA members' money on a poorly designed, poorly built, leaky stadium. In the midst of a blighted, violent slum. Which was obsolete before it was finished. And which remains the only Grand Slam tournament without a retractable roof (Melbourne has TWO, Wimbledon's Centre Court has one, Roland Garros' roof will be ready in 2011).

Answering to a bored, pissed-off, stir-crazy press corp is the yearly cross the USTA must bear for amazingly bad decision-making and incompetence.

The middle weekend is, in relative terms, the best time for a hurricane to hit The Open. If the weather has been decent for the first 4 or 5 days, the schedule collapses from 16 to 10 courts. The Juniors can wait, or they can always be farmed out to local indoor facilities. But the ticketholders get screwed. Let's say you flew in to NY from (wherever) for Labor Day Weekend to enjoy some tennis. Odds are you'll get back on the plane without ever having seen a ball struck, with a "rain check" for a Monday or Tuesday session you'll never attend. If this was the Australian Open in Melbourne (by far the best tennis tournament in the world), you'd have gotten a belly full of tennis at Rod Laver Arena and Hisense Arena, both of which have retractable roofs.

Labor Day weekend tix to the US Open are the hottest tickets in NY. This year, it looks like they may be worthless. And the USTA has nobody to blame other than themselves.