Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reason #4 / Top 10 Reasons Why the US Open Is The Worst Annual Major Sporting Event in the World

4. Attitude: Just like The Olympics: total arrogance. Mantra:”We are the US Open, you are lucky we even give you a credential to work here, you can easily be replaced, so shut the fuck up and walk the long way around the stadium 50 times a day because NO, we will not give you access to the correct hallways. Oh, and in case you're wondering, the answer to any other question or any other request you may have in attempting to make your three weeks at the US Open a little less miserable is NO”.

The biggest incompetent asshole, with the worst attitude, I ever encountered at the US Open was a big fat sweaty slob named Ezra Kucharz, the USTA's self-proclaimed “Director of Advanced Media”. A douchebag extraordinaire. The douchebag's douchebag. Ezra is long gone, and his job was so important - and he did it so well - that the USTA never even bothered filling it after he left. In one of the funniest incidents I can remember in my professional career, Kucharz waddled his fat ass into The Batcave and started screaming a spittle-mouthed rage at our Project Manager about a mixup, for which Ezra blamed me. He cursed me up and down, accused me of insubordination and sabotage, blah blah blah. The PM, a guy named Andy D., who is a very laid-back and cool-headed character, let Ezra blow himself out, perhaps hoping Ezra would pop a gasket and drop dead right on the Batcave floor. Ezra didn't keel over as Andy had hoped, but at the end of Ezra's rant, with Ezra standing there all red-faced, sweating and panting, Andy deadpanned “Well that's all fine, except the guy you're accusing (me) left New York 3 days ago. He was in Egypt, doing another project in a different sport, when all this happened”.

Note to Chris S: If I see Ezra, I'll be sure to tell him you're still waiting for him to return your call. From 2003.

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